Frau Hunter Ash
(Aka Dana Cooper-Kjarr)
*Disclaimers
Ownership: Repeat after me: I don’t own Xena,
Gabrielle, etc. I’m borrowing them for
entertainment purposes, please don’t bother to sue me, you wouldn’t even get
court costs.
Rating: R
to NC-17 for sex.
Violence/Sex: Light actually. Sex = Strong R to NC-17
Subtext/Alt
Fiction/Sex: the story assumes a loving
and sexual relationship between people of the same gender and of the opposite
sex. If this offends you or is illegal
for you then please leave. Come back
when you are older, have an open mind, moved, or changed your laws.
Feedback: always welcome and responded to!
Storyline:
Catching up over some years with Xena and Gabrielle. Major character death alert.
Sasha comes home for additional training. She's facing her final test as a Valkyrie which includes some fighting and an unexpected and painful twist.
The
story can stand on its own but it is part of a series and you might want to
catch some of the earlier parts to know exactly who is who.
A Visit Home, an Awakening 1 * An Awakening, Discovery, 2 * Amazon Bonding, Awakening 3 * Healing, 4 * Trial of a Roman, 5 * Gladiator, Bard, Warrior, Mother; 6 * Reunited, 7 * Ides of March, 8 * Children of Gods, 9 * Even with Ares, 10 * Settling with Brutus, 11 * Darkness Awakening, 12 * Amazons North, 13 * Amazon Darkness, 14 * The Wild Hunt, 15 * Bard Scrolls, 16 * A God’s Twilight, 17 * Chakram, 18 * Death and Rain, 19 * Beowulf & Grendel, 20 * Night Stalkers, 21, * Blood Darkness, 22 * Aftermath, 23 * Here Comes Trouble, 24 * Northern Scrolls, 25 * Old Problems, 26 * Antony and Cleopatra, 27 * Love’s Return, 28 * Amazon Queen on Trial, 29 * Way of the Valkryie, 30 *
Part 1
Xena stopped her horse, chakram instantly in hand.
“What is it?” Hercules asked softly from the seat of the wagon. He glanced in the back and found Iolaus and Gabrielle still asleep with an awake, but quiet, toddler Asher between them. It was getting late on the road and the shadows were long and somewhat eerie in the deep forest.
“My hackles are tingling, it feels like Ares,” Xena complained, her eyes darting around.
“We would have heard if he got out of that sarcophagus,” Hercules protested.
“I said it felt like Ares, not that it was,” Xena snapped, hating the familiar feeling tingling all over her body.
Hercules drew his sword when a cloaked figure stepped out of the shadows in front of the wagon.
The figure pulled back the hood to reveal an older woman, one who looked a lot like Xena’s mother, Hercules thought.
“Hecate?” Xena asked softly. The presence of her deity mother was enough of a puzzle in northern Germania; the fact that Hecate was holding something in her arm was even more of a puzzle.
“Yes, daughter,” Hecate said simply. “May I approach?”
Xena’s eyes narrowed as Hecate smirked at her warrior daughter. Both of them knew that Hecate could probably level the forest if she wanted to and there wouldn’t be much Xena could do to stop her.
“Of course, Mother,” Xena smiled back, sheathing her chakram and glancing back at the sleeping Gabrielle. After the bard's emotional battle at the Amazon All Thing and her physical battle with Artemis, Xena wasn’t surprised that Gabrielle was sleeping soundly. To help heal the wounds between the goddess and her Chosen, Gabrielle had pushed Artemis into a berserker rage, matched only by her own rage of years of abuse at the hands of others. The rift between them had been healed but Gabrielle had expended a lot of energy and now her body was screaming for some time to heal itself.
Iolaus was also feeling the effects of traveling; his crippled bones no longer welcoming long travel. He gladly curled up next to Gabrielle in the back of the wagon to help keep an eye on a precocious toddler named Asher.
Xena dismounted and smiled as Hecate pulled back her robe and bright eyes looked at the warrior with a mixture of curiosity and slight fear. The warrior knelt down as Hecate placed the boy in front of her.
“Hello,” Xena said in Greek. “I’m Xena.”
“Virgil!” the boy said loudly. “Pappa says it’s like the poet cause he likes bards.”
“Pappa?” Xena felt her heart skip a beat as she looked up into her mother’s eyes.
“He still lives but Meg is having a hard time caring for him, the inn and a small boy,” Hecate explained.
“Momma says that you’re my aunt,” Virgil grinned as the moon peaked out from behind a cloud and he got a look at Xena’s face. “You look like Momma.”
“She wants you to foster him for the season,” Hecate continued.
“I thought Father said no interference or help in our lives,” Xena said thoughtfully as she picked Virgil up in her arms as she smiled at him.
“He did,” Hecate smiled. “You also know I don’t listen to the Olympians. Take care of the boy. I’ll take him and Asher to Meg’s in the Fall, if you wish.”
“Might be good for both of them,” Xena nodded, at the same time hating the thought of Asher being away from them for any length of time, especially four months at a time. It was also common among families and especially among the nobles to “foster” their children out to relatives or liege lords for training and upbringing.
“Did you know we have a son?” Xena smiled at the boy in her arms.
“Momma said you did,” he nodded.
“He’s in the back of that wagon with his other mom, want to meet them?”
“Sure!” he said enthusiastically and Xena couldn’t help but smile as she handed him to Hercules. She turned back to Hecate.
“How long does Joxer have?” she asked softly.
“He’ll go before next spring,” Hecate answered.
“Xena?” a confused voice called from the back of the wagon and Xena grinned impishly at her mother.
“Now we’ve got two boys, you’re cruel, mother,” the warrior laughed.
Hecate smiled and nodded. “Makes up for all you put your mother through.”
“How are our families?” Xena asked, hoping to get all the information she could before Hecate disappeared.
“Doing well, although Cyrene is slowing down a bit. Torris is taking over more of the Inn each season but doesn’t mind,” Hecate answered. “Gabrielle’s mother is happy with her husband and Lila has five children.”
“Thank you,” Xena said gratefully. She hated living so far away from her home and knew that it bothered Gabrielle not to be able to visit their families more often but it just wasn't practical for them to live in Greece or in the Roman Empire.
Antony was still alive and had followers and sympathizers in the Empire. After suffering defeat at Octavian's hands because of Xena and Gabrielle's interference, the Greeks knew that he would skin them alive if he ever got close. She and Gabrielle had also earned the wrath of the newest War God, Mars, son of Ares.
“Go see to your new family member and explain to your mate,” Hecate laughed, stepped back into the shadows and was gone.
Journal Entry
< That’s how Virgil came to stay with us several months out of the year and Asher to stay with Meg the other months.>
Gabrielle chewed thoughtfully on the end of her quill as she looked around the small clearing in front of the cabin. The bard was keeping an eye out for both her mate and her cabin mate. Xena was due back from checking the trap lines they had in the woods and mountains. Hercules had gone to visit a familiar clearing just out of sight of the cabin.
The demi-god often visited it when the work was finally done or the ground too hard with cold to work. Gabrielle knew he spent many hours by the grave that now was the resting place of his beloved traveling companion and mate, Iolaus.
<
The boys were more than a handful at
times. They are under two years apart in age and have similar
temperaments. Asher quickly established
himself as the more aggressive leader of the two and Virgil as the joker. We had Virgil for three months when Apollo
appeared in the middle of the night. We quickly bundled the boys up and found
ourselves in Joxer and Meg’s bedroom.
They were waiting for us, Joxer barely hanging on long enough to make
his goodbyes to his son, wife, and us, his daughter yet unborn.
Gods, I still break into tear and that was four years ago. The poet Virgil died that same year, I wonder if that was an omen? Joxer looked like a skeleton with a little bit of flesh still left on the bones and I had to keep from breaking into tears just at the sight of him as Meg held him in her arms.
I sometimes tell stories of Joxer's kindness
and big heart when I travel to the other steadings. I know it pleases Xena that I go out occasionally and revert back
to my bardic self, telling stories of our lives together or heroic tales that
the Vikings love. They can't get enough
stories about Greece, Egypt and other foreign lands. There's a natural curiosity that I find refreshing. They want to learn about other cultures,
lands and people and not with the thought of conquering them like the Romans
do. Of course the Vikings want to raid,
grab all the riches and slaves they can but they don't want to wipe out a
culture just because they think the Vikings are better than everyone else. I find that attitude very disturbing about
the Romans.>
“Joxer, I brought them,” Apollo said softly as Virgil ran forward to hug his father, trying not to cry. Xena and Gabrielle had tried to prepare the boy, knowing about when Joxer was going to die made it imperative to explain to the boy but it also made it more difficult to face. It had been like a shadow looming over them; getting longer and darker by the day.
Joxer managed to open his eyes and lift his arm to touch his son. He smiled and looked up at Meg, his eyes bright with pain and the pain herbs the healers were giving him to make him more comfortable.
Xena closed her eyes for a moment. She had worked with the village healer when she was younger and had a talent for the herbs and workings. The warrior knew death when it was near and Xena had no idea how Joxer had held on as long as he had.
“I…love you…Meg,” he whispered.
Meg, tears running down her face, leaned over and kissed his forehead gently.
“I know, lover,” she said softly.
Joxer let Virgil crawl up next to him even though they could see it caused him pain. Asher held tightly to Xena’s hand as Gabrielle walked over and knelt by Joxer’s side.
“Joxer,” Gabrielle said softly, trying not to cry in front of him.
“I always…loved…you,” he whispered. “Meg knew.”
“I know, Joxer,” Gabrielle choked out. “You’ve always been the best friend I could want from anyone.”
“Xena…good…friend…thanks…”
“You always were a good man, Joxer,” Xena said firmly. “You won’t be forgotten.”
Joxer smiled a small smile and closed his eyes. After a few moments, Meg broke into tears and drew Virgil into her arms, over her protruding, pregnant belly.
Xena and Asher wrapped their arms around Gabrielle as she wept.
<
Then we received word the next year that
my mother had fallen and broken her hip.
She wasn’t able to get out of bed and took fluid in her lungs. Gods, her husband wrote me that she died
peacefully but I know how that death hurts, being stuck on a Roman cross
produces the same liquid on the lungs.
I guess it’s normal that you want all of your friends and family to go
peacefully or quickly and I’m no different.
I remember begging Artemis for a reprieve when we learned of Joxer’s
illness. She asked me if I would beg for all of my family and friends when it
was their time. I guess I will, I know
I won’t get answers from the gods but I still think of myself more as human
than immortal.
I
would wish a warrior’s death for most of our Viking friends and a peaceful
passing in sleep for our families.
Someone asked Julius Caesar at dinner one night how he wanted to die, he
replied “surprised and quickly,” or something like that. I understand that. I don’t want to go slowly like Joxer or my mother did.
Also
earlier in that year, Meg had a daughter.
A beautiful dark haired girl she named Rachel. It doesn’t make up for the loss of a husband but the boys and
Rachel keep Meg busy. The boys are older and starting to take small
responsibilities around the place, helping pick up things around the cabin,
pulling weeds in the garden, things like that.
Both of them are clever and can be terrors if you leave them alone too
long to plan or explore. I still
remember Xena balancing precariously along the top of the barn roof to reach
Virgil as he clung to the metal guardian.
Virgil had bragged that he could take on a griffin by himself and Asher
dared him to find one and prove it. The
little rug rat somehow got up to the
top of the barn to grab the wrought iron griffin that watches over the
farm. One look down and he became
terrified and couldn’t move.
Neither of them could sit for two days once Xena got Virgil down safely. I thought I lost years off my life as we watched her reaching for the frightened little boy.>
Gabrielle looked up, keeping an eye on the two boys playing tag in the grass. Asher was older but Virgil was already lean like his father and had apparently skipped inheriting his father’s awkwardness. The bard thought he moved more like his Uncle Jett, the deadly assassin. Gabrielle shook her head with a smile.
"I wonder what happened to Jett and Jace?" she whispered to herself.
<
Octavian ‘reluctantly’ accepted the title
of August Caesar and Emperor from the Senate.
We’ve watched the politics from Rome closely and know that he carefully
orchestrated it during these long years of his reign over Rome. He always was clever and a perfect successor
to Caesar.
I
remember being surprised at my reaction when we learned that Antony and
Cleopatra had been defeated once more by Octavian a year after we left them at
Actium. The defeat led to their
downfall and joint suicide. I was
surprised, after everything Xena and I had been through, that I felt nothing
over the death of Antony, my sworn enemy. And I felt nothing for the death of Cleopatra, a one-time
friend. I knew then that Xena was right
in keeping us in Germania and somewhat isolated here on our farm. We needed a break from saving the world and
being heroes.
Of course, having two small boys to raise and running a small farm takes all of our energy. The hard work, cold winters, and long suffering from old wounds also took Iolaus from us two spring seasons ago. >
Gabrielle watched as Asher tried to tackle Virgil and missed, sending her young son face first into the dirt. The bard quickly capped her bottle of ink and jumped over the railing as he began to howl from skinned knees and bumped nose.
After settling the boys down, she returned to the scrolls.
<Then the winter came and Iolaus was in such pain from the old wounds. >
Gabrielle set the scrolls aside, unable to write any more right then as she remembered her friend.
+++++++++
Gabrielle smiled as she read her personal scrolls from years before. It had been a long time since she had read them and she had to laugh at some of the antics listed; she often wondered how two small boys could get into so much trouble that seemed years beyond their means.
The worst was when Asher decided at age 10 that he was big enough to ride Hercules’ horse; Uncle Herk’s war horse. With the encroaching Romans getting closer every summer, most of the tribe had been preparing for conflicts and skirmishes, the small family included. Even though Gabrielle could prove she was a free woman and a citizen of Rome, they all knew that most of the time soldiers attacked first and asked questions later. Hercules and Xena bought war horses from southern traders and had been working with Eddval’s warriors, teaching them some of the typical Roman moves.
Asher was fascinated by the horses and was a natural. Virgil was adequate for a 9 year old and liked riding but not as much as his foster brother. During the last trip to their Greek home with Meg, Asher had broken his leg trying to ride a horse too large and wild for him.
Gabrielle looked at the scroll, remembering the day Asher proved that he hadn’t learned his lesson at Meg’s.
Xena
growled and grabbed Gabrielle around the waist when gentle persuasion failed
and the bard wouldn’t move from Asher’s bedside. The warrior yanked the weakly protesting mother away from the bed
and lifted the semi-conscious Gabrielle into her arms. She turned to Hercules and found he was
already moving towards the bed to watch the boy.
Xena
tried not to cry as she carried her mate into their room to their bed.
Asher’s
injuries were deadly and they all knew it.
Xena thought the broken ribs would heal but the trickle of blood coming
from his ears and swollen head frightened them all into fervent prayers and
Gabrielle into action.
For
three days she had been at Asher’s bedside, feeding him her own life energy as
she continually healed him. Xena knew
after the first two candle-marks that Gabrielle was the only thing keeping the
boy alive.
Xena
fell to her knees next to Gabrielle, finally weeping.
They
had let Gabrielle stay with him for three days until the bard was delirious
from exhaustion and didn’t even have enough energy to lift a cup to her
lips. She had refused to leave his side
and both Xena and Hercules began to fear that Gabrielle would trade the last of
her energy in a futile attempt to keep Asher alive.
Xena
had gone outside and raged for a quarter of a candle-mark. It seemed she had to choose between
Gabrielle’s life and one more day of Asher’s unconscious one. Even with Gabrielle’s god-given gift of
healing, the boy was only holding onto life and not improving and Gabrielle was
getting worse.
Xena,
hating herself, life, and everything in the universe, had chosen Gabrielle over
losing both of them. The warrior fell
into an exhausted asleep, laying her head on the bed, next to Gabrielle’s hand.
It
was morning when Xena opened her eyes, blinking against the sunlight coming in
through their window. She realized
sometime during the night Hercules had picked her up and put her to bed next to
Gabrielle because she didn’t remember getting into bed on her own.
Gabrielle
was sleeping soundly and her breathing was steady. The warrior dashed out the door and into Asher’s room and skidded
to a stop, blinking in disbelief.
The
boy was sitting up and chatting with Virgil and Hercules. He smiled at his mom and Hercules grinned.
“He
woke up about half a mark ago,” Hercules shrugged. “The ribs are still broken but the head is fine. That last bolt Gabrielle sent must have
worked.”
Xena
said a rare prayer of thanks to the Gods and quickly hugged her son gently
before returning to her mate.
+++++++++++
< That was a full turn of seasons ago. I haven’t written in these scrolls for quite awhile. I haven’t had the heart to write the news. Readying over the scrolls, I realized that I wrote that Iolaus had died but not the details. I know now that I just couldn’t face it. >
Gabrielle looked up from the hearth as she poured hot water over the muslin bag containing the pain herbs as Xena walked in from the hall. “How is he?” she asked softly.
Xena’s jaw tightened and tears filled her eyes. “The pain and breathing are both worse. I don’t think he’s coming out of this one.”
Gabrielle’s head dropped, tears filling her eyes. “I could do some more healing,” she suggested.
“No, Little One,” Xena said softly, bending over and wrapping her arms around Gabrielle and lightly nuzzling the blonde’s neck. “It’s time; Herk is saying goodbye to him.”
“It’s too soon,” Gabrielle complained, letting the tears flow.
“It’s always too soon,” Xena added. “Come on, Gabrielle.”
Xena held Gabrielle for a few moments as her mate cried. Gabrielle pulled out of Xena’s arms and moved down the hallway to Hercules’ and Iolaus’ room.
Hercules was leaning against the headboard with his arms wrapped around his smaller mate, as Iolaus tried to sleep sitting up. They knew if he lay down, he’d drown in his own fluids.
Gabrielle and the others had tried to ignore the hunter’s hair going more gray than blonde and his body slowing down with each season. The wounds that he had suffered throughout his life, especially the crippling of his arm when Gabrielle had been taken as a slave, had settled into his bones and brought about an almost blinding pain in the cold season.
The last three winters had seen him struggling against pneumonia but he remained stubborn and wouldn’t agree to move further south when Hercules suggested it. Iolaus had demanded to stay and help raise the boys.
Asher and Virgil sat against the wall, watching their Uncle Iolaus struggle to breath.
Xena moved to squat down in front of them and took them into her arms as they tried to stay strong and not cry in front of their Foster fathers.
Gabrielle moved to sit down lightly on the edge of the bed, handing Hercules the cup of tea that would help Iolaus with the pain and his breathing.
“Thanks,” he said softly
.
“I’m sorry, Herk,” she whispered.
“I told him it was alright to cross over,” he responded.
Gabrielle nodded and reached out to stroke Iolaus’ cheek and then moved to the end of the bed.
Iolaus coughed and clung to Hercules’ arms. He opened his eyes when the coughing finally eased up and attempted to smile at the group.
“Love you,” he whispered.
“We love you, Iolaus,” Xena responded. “You will be remembered, my friend, my brother.”
“I love you, Iolaus,” Hercules said softly. “Let go.”
Iolaus grinned a familiar smile and winced as he tried to breathe. Then he closed his eyes and his head dropped forward.
Xena began singing softly and Asher started a low beat with his hands on his legs.
After a few moments, Iolaus stopped struggling and then stopped breathing.
Asher got up and helped Virgil to his feet. Gabrielle followed the two of them out as Xena stood up and moved to help her half brother with his mate.
<
I admit it was so hard. Even harder than
losing Joxer. We had time to prepare
for Joxer. Hellfire, we had time to prepare for Iolaus, we just ignored him
getting worse every year. We were in such denial, even when Hercules would curl
up in a chair with Iolaus in his arms.
I guess I’m able to write about this now
because of recent events. May the gods smile kindly on Xena and everyone: we
had to say goodbye to Cyrene and Argo.
We received word from Torris last moon that Cyrene had gone to sleep one
night and never woke up.
Gods, this is worst part of being immortal so far, watching our
families grow older while we don’t. Now we’re losing them to the
inevitable. Xena was devastated and I
pretty much handled things on the road as we rushed back to Greece for the
funeral. I think she would have run
horse after horse into the ground to make it back in time to say goodbye to her
mother if I hadn’t insisted we rest along the way.
We
did make it back for the funeral. Cyrene was laid to rest next to her son. She was such an important part of our lives.
She held me so many times, especially after Xena and I would fuss about
something.
She was so remarkable. I never thought I
would see Xena, the mighty warrior and conqueror fear anything until I followed
her to home all those years ago. Losing
her mother’s love and approval destroyed my warrior. I knew then what I was
called to do and stood by her. When
Cyrene forgave Xena for her past, I could see Xena’s spirit and heart soaring
and knew we could face anything from that moment on. Even if Xena didn’t know it at the time, I still had to convince
her that night that she needed a friend.
Took her even longer to recognize me as a lover.
Gods, I’m going to miss Cyrene!
<Argo, the loyal and way too intelligent
friend of Xena, in the body of a horse.
We found Argo alive when we got to Amphipolis for the funeral but she
went down and wouldn’t get back up that night.
Xena spent the night with Argo’s head in her lap, talking and singing to
her beloved horse. Argo’s spirit passed
on at dawn. >
Gabrielle looked over the scrolls and wiped away several tears. She had more to add now. Her own mother had passed on from some illness that swept through the growing town of Poteidia.
The bard sighed and leaned back into Xena’s arms as her mate walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman.
“Your Mom or my mom?” the warrior asked softly.
“Both, I haven’t written in my scrolls in forever,” Gabrielle explained. “I’ve barely even met my own nieces and nephews and we have no idea where your grandson is. It feels like it’s slipping away, Xena.”
“It is, time is going to take our families and friends, my love,” Xena said softly.
“I know, but it doesn’t mean I have to like this part of living forever with you,” Gabrielle muttered. “We haven’t seen Sasha in ages!”
“And Asher and Virgil haven’t made it home for the summer, I know,” Xena laughed softly. Gabrielle always got irritable at the first sign of Spring, none of them could wait to see Asher and Virgil for the summer months and they both tended to get a little impatient waiting for Hercules to return to the North with the boys.
“I’m sorry, lover,” Gabrielle smiled and leaned against Xena’s arm, loving the feel of arms around her.
“Maybe I can help?” a voice asked in Germanic from the doorway.
Xena spun with her chakram in hand and Gabrielle was on her feet with sai in hand, years of instinct and reflexes still strong in both women. Both got along with the Viking custom of never being too far from weapons, even in your own hall or home.
The dark-haired figure grinned at them, her blue eyes shining with amusement.
“Sasha!” Xena squeaked and Gabrielle laughed, sheathing her sai to dash into the taller girl’s arms as Xena followed, hugging both mate and daughter tightly.
Gabrielle smiled and stepped back to appraise her adopted daughter as Xena stepped to the other side, doing the same thing.
Sasha, at 24 summer seasons, was a full grown woman but both mothers still could see the small and impish child they had raised. The Viking had her mother and father’s black hair and Xena’s blue eyes. She had Ares’ smirk but had somehow grabbed Gabrielle’s strange sense of humor.
Xena’s eyes narrowed. “When did you stop aging?” she asked softly.
Gabrielle had been wondering the same thing.
“When I was sixteen summers,” Sasha answered easily. “When I was accepted as a Valkyrie in training and went through a ritual for it.”
“Let me guess,” Xena said ruefully, “a shamanic experience to the Underworld, facing several challenges and actual death.”
“Yes, Freya wasn’t worried,” Sasha explained, pulling off her travel cloak and hanging it on a peg by the door as she stepped through the main door. “I am the daughter of gods and demi-gods.”
“Don’t remind me of your father,” Xena growled and Gabrielle smirked.
It was about 20 years since Xena had last faced Ares, sealing him in a tomb, hopefully for eternity. It was also just recently that Gabrielle could even think of Sasha’s father without going into a rage.
“Yes, Mom,” Sasha grinned, pulling her sword belt off and hanging it on the back of a chair.
Without the cloak, both mothers could see that she was as tall as Xena, as lean and wiry as a hunting hound and with a tan that spoke of plenty of time outside, even in the winter.
“So, how many hearts have you broken this year?” Gabrielle asked, pulling down a small keg of mead for all of them.
“A few,” Sasha admitted with a grin.
“Marriage yet?” Xena asked. Sasha was well beyond the normal marrying age in the Viking North but the fact she was also a Valkyrie and a demi-goddess meant time had slowed down for her.
“No, not yet,” the Valkyrie responded. “The guys here?”
“No, we expect them any day now,” Gabrielle grinned as Xena brought goblets to the table.
“How goes the training?” Xena asked as Gabrielle began pouring.
“It goes well, I face the final testing soon.”
Gabrielle and Xena glanced at each other, both catching the hesitation in Sasha’s voice.
“What is it, Sash?” Xena asked.
“I was hoping I could stay around here for awhile,” Sasha said slowly. “If you’re still the kick ass warrior you’ve always been, I could use some additional training.”
“What is the test for a Valkyrie?” Gabrielle asked, her bardic curiosity showing.
“Can’t say too much, Mum,” Sasha shrugged, her eyes glinting in amusement at Gabrielle’s frustrated expression. “I can say that part of the test is to face the other Valkyries in a test of combat skills. I’ve been training with them for years, we all know each other’s moves, forwards and backwards.”
“You’re hoping I can show you some new tricks,” Xena smirked and nodded. “Good idea.”
“Maybe I can show you a few as well,” Sasha bragged and grinned at her mother’s raised eyebrows.
“Sounds like fun,” Xena grinned in return and Gabrielle shook her head.
“Who are you going to as a Valkyrie?” Gabrielle questioned. “Odin or Freya’s Hall?”
“Freya,” Sasha smiled and laughed softly as Xena’s smile turned to a frown.
“I know she gets half of the honored dead,” Xena muttered. “She’s also the goddess of sexuality, fertility and such.”
“Yes,” Sasha agreed, catching Gabrielle frowning as well. “Moms, I’m 23 summers old, almost 24. I’ve had sex with a number of men and women. Some in service of the goddess, some for my own pleasure.”
“Now I know how my mom felt when I grew up,” Xena complained with a rueful smile.
“I’m sorry about Grandma Hecuba, Mum,” Sasha said softly to Gabrielle.
“Thank you,
Sash,” the bard nodded. Watching her
grown daughter and reflecting on the news Sasha was chosen by Freya. Which
was worse, sending your child off to war or knowing your daughter was sexually
active?
“What is the rest of the testing?” Xena asked.
“Can’t say, Valkyrie stuff,” Sasha responded. “Some of it I won’t learn about until the test.”
“Sasha,” Gabrielle hesitated and saw Xena looking at her, wondering what the serious question could be. “You see the dead as a Valkyrie, right?”
“Yes, Mum,” their daughter grew serious.
“Did you….?” The bard hesitated.
“Iolaus crossed over to the Elysian Fields and will be waiting for Hercules if he ever dies. If he doesn’t then Iolaus will be given the choice to rest forever or come back somehow to Uncle Herk,” Sasha said softly.
“Thank you,” Gabrielle felt Xena’s hand reaching out for hers and squeezed.
“Now, young lady,” Xena smiled, raising her goblet. “To the gods! May they continue to keep busy among themselves!”
Both Sasha and Gabrielle laughed and raised their goblets as well.
++++++++
Gods, those two are incredible! I thought
Xena was good with a sword but Sasha is damned close to being able to beat
Xena. She’s better at using the sharp
end of a spear but I can still beat her with the staff part. Which tells us a lot: Valkyries aren’t
accustomed to fighting Southern Amazon style with chobas and staves.
Instead of just Xena training Sasha, I’ve
gotten into the action with staves, chobas and sais and they’re both working on
more sword work. Sasha was right, she
has managed to show Xena a couple of new things as well, especially fighting
with sword and shield. My mate has
relied on that chakram for so many years that she never really learned the
details of fighting with sword and shield combinations. I practice daily with
Sasha, it was one thing I learned in gladiator training – fighting with almost
every weapon you could get your hands on.
I’m not used to the larger Viking shields though. Gladiator shields for
a fighter my size are barely big enough to guard the hand and arm.
Xena hasn’t said anything but I know she’s
aware my nightmares are back. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised with the
training and practicing, it's so much like what I went through in that damned
school. I wake up thinking Lycrassius is reaching for or whipping me and Xena
holds me, as always.
Will these damned memories haunt me forever?
That was 25 winters ago. Would Lycrassis even be alive? He’d be somewhere
around 55 winters. Old but not that old for a rich Roman; if he hung onto his
riches, that is, and stayed out of politics.
It worries me sometimes to have Asher so far
away from home and in Roman territory. He looks Northern and speaks Germanic,
Latin, Greek and Finnish fluently and can pass for any tribe but I still worry.
With Kryck lost to us, I worry like a normal mother, I guess.
I hate having him gone! I love it when both
boys are here. I never really thought of myself as mother material when I hit
the road with Xena but I do love it so. It somehow makes the losses of our
family easier. I do admit that I
haven’t a clue how I would ever handle losing Asher or Virgil. I don’t know how we survived losing Solan.
I remember being numb and reacting
instinctively to the threat of Mars and Callisto. We really didn’t have time to
grieve. Maybe that’s why it hurts so
much to lose Iolaus. I know in a way
both Xena and I said goodbye to our families when we moved North to get away
from Casear and Rome. We knew the day would come when we’d get word that
someone had died. I guess we’re human: ignore it and maybe it won’t happen.
I know I’ll always picture my mom in the
kitchen and Cyrene moving between tables as she ran the tavern. Argo will always be dancing in a field,
waiting for Xena’s whistle.
How in Tartarus are we supposed to survive
watching everyone around us grow old and die?
Xena and Sasha broke out of the tree line, dashing towards the house in a dead out run. At first Gabrielle was startled and reached for her sais but relaxed when she realized mother and daughter were racing and neither was about to let the other one win.
The bard laughed as both dove for the steps, slapping their hands on the porch at the same moment. Mother and daughter collapsed onto the stairs, breathing heavily.
Gabrielle grinned. “Tie!” she announced and two sets of blue eyes glared at her, only causing the bard to grin even wider.
“I’m the one you sleep with, Gabrielle,” Xena growled. “Still think it was a tie?”
“No fair!” Sasha protested.
Gabrielle giggled, a familiar warm feeling spreading over her as Xena looked up, her eyes darkening with love and desire.
“How cold is that water?” Sasha asked, pointing to the pump Hercules and Xena had dug the year before.
“Cold enough to chill both of you off!” Gabrielle smirked.
Gabrielle turned back to her scrolls as the duo headed off to get cleaned up for dinner.
“When is this damned test, anyway?” she yelled to Sasha.
“Full moon!” the young Valkyrie yelled back.
“Terrific,” Gabrielle complained. “Just when the blood lust hits around here.”
Gabrielle ignored Xena’s worried expression. No matter how many years they were together, Gabrielle still resented her blood cravings.
“Full moon,” Gabrielle said thoughtfully. “Two weeks.”
+++++++++++
The physical training also consisted of helping out around the farm now that Spring was approaching. The tilling of the small fields and everything that went along with getting the farm out of its winter hibernation ensured that all three women were exhausted by nightfall and barely able to eat dinner before dropping off to sleep.
Gabrielle made sure to call a halt to everything occasionally and force her mate and daughter to take breaks. Once even an entire day off lounging by the river behind their home. The bard loved it when Xena was actually relaxing, the warrior turned farmer was always on the move, ever since the first day Gabrielle had seen her. Getting Xena to take time to relax was a major event.
It gave Gabrielle a chance to see sides to her mate that very few others ever got to see. The playful and romantic mate that the bard treasured.
Xena grinned, watching Gabrielle lean back against a tree next to the river. Even if they didn’t physically age, it was still hard work keeping a farm going after all the years they had been here. The warrior was glad when she could get Gabrielle to take a break from the endless work. It softened the bard’s face like nothing else could.
The mother turned in time to duck being hit with Sasha’s latest catch from the river. Her daughter tried to look innocent, as if the flying fish had been an accident but Xena could see the same mischievousness in Sasha’s eyes that she had known in her brother and in Solan.
Xena had to admit, watching Sasha turn back to her fishing, she and Ares had a beautiful daughter together. The warrior was also very grateful that Ares had been an absent father in Sasha’s life.
Xena looked up at the sky and extended her senses, gauging the passing of the season. She hoped the warming temperature meant Hercules would make it back with the boys before the rainy season. It was known to turn the roads into impassable lanes of mud and made rivers raging obstacles of swift moving water.
Sasha turned her head to watch her Mom as Xena sat down on the bank beside her, picking up her own fishing pole.
“Mom, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, anything, kid,” Xena said easily. She was still adjusting to the thought of Sasha having sex with anyone, let alone many anyones, but Xena was determined to be an open and communicative parent. She had been so thankful that Cyrene was understanding and supportive after they had talked and Cyrene had forgiven Xena for the past. One thing Cyrene had advised was open communication and a willingness to listen before lecturing.
“I’ve read Mum’s scrolls about how you helped get Hades’ helmet back to him with the help from one of your former lovers,” Sasha began.
“Yes, Marcus,” Xena nodded. “I was there when he died trying to protect an innocent and I was the one he turned to when Hades lost control of Tartarus and the Elysian Fields.”
“And you were with him for that time, knowing he was going to go back, knowing he was going to die again, right?” Sasha continued.
“Yes,” Xena’s eyes became thoughtful and pained. The first time Marcus died, it was early in her travels with Gabrielle and her attempt at redemption. Before she had discovered she had fallen in love with the bard. The second time, Xena knew she was in love with Gabrielle but thought Gabrielle had no clue and no interest in women or her, romantically.
“What was it like? Knowing he was going to die?” Sasha asked softly. “I mean, it wasn’t like someone who’s sick or watching someone die on the battlefield.”
Xena frowned. “It was hard,” she admitted, setting the pole aside as she sat her arms on her knees. “What I didn’t tell Gabrielle, what I never told anyone, was that I was the one who killed him when his time was up.”
Sasha blinked, absorbing the information.
Xena nodded at her daughter’s surprised expression. “Marcus could have kept the helmet and lived out the rest of his life, maybe even had been made immortal by the helmet but he chose the right thing.”
“And you killed him,” Sasha said softly, her expression thoughtful.
“Yes, I drove a dagger into his heart after Hades promised to reconsider Marcus’ case,” Xena explained.
“Did it help knowing that Marcus might end up in the Elysian Fields and be happy?” Sasha questioned.
“It helped me live with it,” Xena muttered. “Are you doubting your calling as a Valkyrie, calling heroes to the halls after their death?”
“It’s not just calling the heroes after a battle or violent death, Mom,” Sasha said softly. “It's picking which heroes will fall in that battle. I have to choose who dies.”
“You’ve already been doing this, haven’t you?”
“Yeah,” Sasha’s frown deepened. “I look at a warrior and know his past deeds and his skills and make my decisions, based on what Freya and Odhinn want from a hero. I haven’t gotten close to any of them.”
“And now you’ll have to?” Xena asked gently. “I really don’t understand the Vikings on this one. I’m not sure that should be left to Valkyries and gods.”
“I know, it all fits in with the Norns, somehow,” Sasha muttered. “I don’t know how and why it works except that it does. The heroes are happy; I’ve escorted many to Odhinn or Freya’s Halls. They are more than happy to be there.”
“It’s your own feelings that you’re having problems with?” Xena asked.
“Yeah, part of it is bringing pleasure to the warrior before the battle that will claim his life,” Sasha explained.
“Getting close to someone who is going to die because you say so,” Xena commented and Sasha nodded. “Not easy to live with, but the other side of that is you escort them to happiness.”
Xena shook her head. “Happiness and pain for you, not easy to live with.”
“No, but what is?” Sasha shrugged, reminding Xena of herself.
+++++++++++++++++++