Northern Scrolls, Awakening 25

Frau Hunter Ash

(Aka Dana Cooper-Kjarr)

 

carrkjar@yahoo.com

carrkjar@pacbell.net

www.hunterash.com

 

*Disclaimers

Ownership:  Repeat after me: I don’t own Xena, Gabrielle, etc.  I’m borrowing them for entertainment purposes, please don’t bother to sue me, you wouldn’t even get court costs.

Violence:  very little actually - not even a good fight.

Subtext/Alt Fiction/Sex:  the story assumes a loving and sexual relationship between people of the same gender and of the opposite sex.  If this offends you or is illegal for you then please leave.  Come back when you are older, have an open mind, moved, or changed your laws.  The sex can get a little graphic, but I hope not crude.

Feedback:  always welcome and responded to!

Storyline:  Xena and Gabrielle head North for Sasha’s training, some time to relax and to see the pregnancy through. 

 

The story can stand on its own but it is part of a series and you might want to catch some of the earlier parts to know exactly who is whom.

 

A Visit Home, an Awakening 1 * An Awakening, Discovery, 2 * Amazon Bonding, Awakening 3 * Healing, 4 * Trial of a Roman, 5 * Gladiator, Bard, Warrior, Mother; 6 * Reunited, 7 * Ides of March, 8 * Children of Gods, 9 * Even with Ares, 10 * Settling with Brutus, 11 * Darkness Awakening, 12 * Amazons North, 13 * Amazon Darkness, 14 * The Wild Hunt, 15 * Bard Scrolls, 16 * A God’s Twilight, 17 * Chakram, 18 * Death and Rain, 19 * Beowulf & Grendel, 20 * Nightstalkers, 21 * Blood Darkness, 22 * Aftermath, 23 * Here Comes Trouble, 24 * Northern Scrolls, 25

 


Part 1

 

Northern Scrolls

 

            We have arrived at the steading of Eddval; I still can’t believe the names they give each other up here.  The Germans are happy to see us, as always and it is good to see them.  They have news that Hercules and Iolaus are due in a couple of moons, before the High summer. 

It’ll be really good to see them and to have someone from home around when I deliver this child.  I’m at six moons along and definitely showing!  I feel like I’m attempting to smuggle a melon under my skirt!

Gods, I would have loved to have been with Xena when she was pregnant with Sasha and then when she gave birth.  I do give thanks that I’m with her now with mine.  My back is killing me though!  Xena says it’s because I’m small but that being in such wonderful physical shape will help with the delivery. 

Although we’re glad to be among people who consider us family and would die to protect us, coming here wasn’t totally joyful.  We spent four moons looking for Kiryk, Solan’s son with nothing to show for it.

Sweet Artemis, so much happened at once. I need to try and go over it once again for these scrolls.  I know I haven’t written about it enough since that horrible time when Callisto came back.  I haven’t had the heart to write about it but I guess I need to.

Seems like things went from messed up to worse in the matter of a day.  After finding out the child I’m carrying wasn’t a child of Bacchus, as I had feared, we ran into Meg.  She accused me of seducing Joxer and running away with him.  How weird is that?

I love Joxer like a brother but never more than that.  I know he’s loved me for years but I thought he had moved beyond the “head over heels” stage into an easy and comfortable stage between us.  When Cyrene told me he had married Meg I was delighted.  Yes, it felt strange that he wouldn’t be there anymore but it also felt right that he moved on and I know he was more than attracted to Meg.

Several questions came up at once: who was with Joxer that looked and acted enough like me to convince him?  Who wanted to break up Joxer and Meg and hurt me and Xena?  How could they look like me?  Where were they and what did they have planned for Joxer?

When we got to Amphipolis we got the answers.  Our family was staked out in the main square of the village like goats staked out to bait wolves.  Everyone was there, even Dex, our blacksmith friend, and Joxer. 

Xena and I rode into the trap, as someone had planned, to try and free our family.  Soldiers attacked us and that wasn’t unexpected.  Xena and I were holding our own pretty well until we heard that damned familiar scream.

Callisto. 

How I hate that name!  Somehow she had gotten free of the lava Xena and I sent her into with Valesca.  She had taken my shape and pretended to be me to seduce Joxer away from Meg.  Callisto fed him his ultimate dream of being with me in every way and promised a long future with “me”.  Then she tortured and beat him almost to death, all the time posing as me.  It was too much for Joxer and his emotional state as well as his body was shattered by the time that bitch chained him to a post in Amphipolis.

Next part of her plan was simple: kill as many of our family members as she could while we watched.  Archers sent arrows flying and Xena and I grabbed and shielded as many of the family as we could.  I took an arrow in the thigh and Xena took a poisoned arrow in the side but still caught most of the arrows.

Gods, how can I write of this?  She saved Kiryk but one of the arrows got past her and hit Solan in the chest.  He was dead within moments, before Xena could even cut his chains.

I thought it couldn’t get much worse than that.  I was wrong.

I worked some of my healing gifts on Xena to fight the poison in her system.  I didn’t dare risk too much of my own energy because of my own wound and my pregnancy.  This is all so new to me, I was still adjusting to the news I was pregnant.

Xena had just broken her fever when Callisto attacked again.  This time she brought help in the form of the new God of War for the Greeks and Romans: Mars, son of Ares. 

During the fight I was pinned to the bar with my own sais through my shoulders and my back injured.  Xena opened her wounds again leaping from upstairs.  Cyrene had several cracked ribs and a massive headache.  Dex was knocked unconscious and then kicked in the head again.  Torris took sword wounds in his ribs and his thigh.  Reija was crippled when Callisto intentionally slashed the back of her knee.

The worst of it was when Mars and Callisto took Kiryk and Sasha and disappeared.

I was laid out flat on my back with my wounds and the fear that my child might have been in danger because of the blows to my back.  Xena could barely stand upright herself and then Odin showed up.

Odin, along with several Northern gods and some Greek gods were willing to go to war against Mars to get Sasha back.  Mars had planned on turning Sasha into a chaotic War Goddess, someone even more deadly and blood thirsty than Xena had been.  Sasha would be a goddess with her mother’s lust for power and blood.  They were willing to stand against that.

Xena agreed to go with Odin while I stayed behind recovering from my wounds.  Odin snuck back in the room and healed me.  He wanted me to keep Callisto busy during the battle and get Sasha and Kiryk from her while they fought Mars.

Xena told me later that the battle was vicious and bloody.  Odin and Xena came up with several ways to thin out Mars’ troops and worked up a few surprises. 

I went to Mars’ space in Mount Olympus.  I was told by Hermes that Callisto’s plans were to kidnap me while Xena was fighting, she wanted to torture me, rape me and beat me senseless and turn me over to a brutal gladiatorial school again as a Roman slave.

Just the thought of that was enough to almost freeze me with fear.  I knew I’d never last as a slave again and Xena would go crazy trying to find me.

I surprised Callisto by showing up on her doorstep.  Somehow I managed to talk her into sending Sasha to Odin.  I convinced her that the Northern gods wanted Sasha without Xena’s permission and it would hurt Xena just as much as leaving her with Mars. 

Callisto showed one of the few traces of humanity left to her insanity.  She didn’t want Sasha to turn into the monster that Xena had been.  She didn’t want to be responsible for Sasha destroying countless families like hers had been.  Callisto didn’t want to create another Xena or another Callisto.

I promised myself long ago to be honest in these private scrolls but I find myself having problems keeping that promise. 

How can I write about what happened next?

Xena was busy with the fight, Northern gods and Greeks against Greeks and the Northern goddess Hella.  It was quite a battle, enough to shake the earth and cause a volcanic eruption on one of the islands and cause several earthquakes throughout the land.

Callisto.  My task was half done in getting Sasha away from her.  Now I needed to get Kiryk free and keep her busy.  Busy enough not to torture me and send me to slavery again.  Or busy enough not to kill me out-right.

Odin promised that he would try and save me when the battle turned against Mars but couldn’t guarantee anything.

I had to think fast with an insane goddess considering various ways of hurting me.  I reacted without thinking and kissed her.  Gods, can I write this?  I seduced Callisto, my worst enemy other than Ares.  An enemy who had been more dangerous than Ares ever thought about being. 

She was surprised but enjoyed the idea of sex with me as an ultimate revenge against Xena, thinking she could still torture me later, and corrupt me was a kick for her.  Maybe it is part of my inheritance from my father Apollo and that irresistible sexual energy he has that she gave into the feelings and let go of the control.

I lied about my relationship with Xena and convinced Callisto that I've strayed from Xena before and that's why I'm pregnant.  She couldn't believe it but finally accepted it when she realized I am, in fact, pregnant. 

She also revealed that she and the other gods can't watch me and Xena when we're sexual together.  Aphrodite's gifting to us, so Callisto didn't know about my Bacchae side or the Spirit Realm journeys. 

Having Callisto kiss and touch me was enough to sicken me, having that woman making love to me was maddening.  Somehow I kept my anger from coming out as I touched her and seduced her.  It didn't get below the belt-line, thank the gods!  I'm not sure I could take that after the Bacchanalia and I'm not sure Xena could either, willing or not.

I was able finally to sink my fangs into her and begin drinking her blood.  I willingly called my Bacchae self to the surface in order to drain Callisto to the point of death and change her into a blood hungry Bacchae. 

I’m getting sick just remembering this and writing about it.  My body wants to throw up, my hand is cramping, my head is aching and the baby is kicking up a storm. 

I did get sick after turning her.  I couldn’t face keeping her blood in my system for long and threw most of it up. 

I’m just praying that the blood of an insane chaotic goddess doesn’t affect my child.  It’s bad enough that he or she might inherit my blood cravings, what could he inherit from Callisto’s blood?  I shudder at that thought!

Then things got confusing again. 

Somehow Mars knew something was wrong and showed up.  Callisto attacked him immediately.  Xena and Zeus showed up and Zeus put his foot down.  He declared that Mars couldn’t touch Sasha, Xena, me or our families.  He sent Callisto to the deepest ends of Tartarus and removed her Bacchae curse. 

The thing remaining was where Kiryk was and Callisto wouldn’t tell where she had sent him.  Zeus couldn’t track him because he’s totally human and Mars didn’t even ask what Callisto had done with him.

Then I had to face Xena with the fact that I seduced Callisto and that she had responded, that the sex hadn't gone far but far enough for me to sink fangs into her neck.  Xena says she forgives me and understands but it hasn’t been easy.

We went home and had to let our family know that we had lost Kiryk.  Sasha was safe with us again but we had no idea where to look for Kiryk.  A small little boy zapped somewhere away from his family by an insane goddess.

We didn’t mention how I had managed to distract Callisto, thankfully. 

Xena and I buried Solan and sent word to Joxer and Meg about Kiryk.  Joxer still isn’t talking to me.  Xena and I then went looking for Kiryk, trying to figure out Callisto’s warped mind and way of thinking.  We’ve been everywhere in Greece in the last few moons and no sign of the boy.

Xena and I finally had to put our search on hold while we traveled North with Sasha for her training with the Northern gods.

How much stranger can it get?  Sasha, the daughter of a god and demi-god, is about to come of age and the gods say her powers will develop and she’ll go insane without training.  Our daughter, our Sasha could be dangerous. 

So here we are, I’m very pregnant, we still don’t know where Kiryk is, Xena is unhappy with turning Sasha over to Odin and Freya and it gets worse.

Something is wrong with my relationship with Xena. 

At first I thought it was our grief over Solan’s death and worrying as to where Kiryk was.  Then worrying about bringing Sasha north and my pregnancy.  Now I’m not so sure.

We’ve made love a few times but something is off. 

I think my time with Bacchus and Callisto is coming between us and I’m not sure how to fix that.  Maybe I’m just over emotional because of the child, all the women say that’s normal.  Breaking into tears for no reason doesn’t feel normal to me but Svenda, Eddval’s new wife, just smiles and holds me and tells me it’s normal.

I feel a distance between Xena and me.  The last few moons I’ve managed to get by with only animal blood but the cravings are getting worse each time.  I need that connection with Xena again for that damned Bacchae blood in my veins and I need her love for my sanity.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Gabrielle wasn’t surprised that it took Xena well past dinner to seek her out.  The bard had been feeling down and even more distant from Xena than ever.  She knew that Xena was emotionally distant because they were getting close to having to let Sasha go but Gabrielle was still feeling down about it.  The bard had slipped out of the large hall of Eddval’s and began walking around the area inside the defensive log wall.

 

She merely nodded at the guards and those roaming around the area in the warm evening night that called to her.  Gabrielle kept her hands inside her open cloak because she knew they were shaking.

 

Xena had barely noticed the bard during dinner; the warrior had been caught up in conversation with Alfhild, a priestess of Freya and Sasha.  The discussion had been detailed and intense and normally Gabrielle would have been fascinated with the conversation but tonight she couldn’t follow along and she felt disconnected.

 

It was almost a candle-mark past the last platter being passed around the long table that Xena had apparently looked around and noticed Gabrielle wasn’t in the Hall.  The bard felt Xena come up behind her and the warrior placed her hands on Gabrielle’s shoulders. 

 

“What’s up, Little One,” the warrior asked softly.

 

“Can we talk?” Gabrielle asked easily.

 

“Sure,” the warrior answered just as easily but Gabrielle caught a touch of question and doubt in the answer and knew that Xena was probably picking up on her nervousness or tense body.

 

A few moments later Gabrielle led her warrior to the stable.  The Steading of Eddval was large enough to have a stable for the livestock, unlike smaller holdings that usually had a building that was open on one side for summer care.  The animals would be taken inside during the snow months for warmth, along with the humans.

 

The lack of privacy and sharing space with the cows, sheep and horses was something the bard wasn’t sure she would ever get used to in the North.

 

Once inside the stable Xena held back as Gabrielle began to pace, her face troubled and Xena’s concerned.

 

“What is it, Gabrielle,” she asked.

 

“I need you to talk to me and I need you to be honest,” Gabrielle said after a moment’s hesitation.

 

“Okay,” Xena’s voice was cautious and Gabrielle was nervous.  The warrior motioned for the bard to sit as she sat down on a hay bale herself.  “What is it, Little One?”

 

“Do you still love me?” the bard asked softly.

 

Xena was stunned and blinked in surprise.  “Of course I do! What’s brought this on?”

 

“Do you believe I love you?” Gabrielle continued.

 

“Of course!”

 

“Are you sure, Xena?” the bard fought back the tears that threatened to fill her eyes and she struggled to continue the conversation.  “You barely touch me, my love.”

 

“We’ve been a little stressed out,” Xena frowned. 

 

“It’s more than that, there’s a distance between us and I can feel it,” Gabrielle responded softly.

 

Xena started to protest and stopped.  Gabrielle wasn’t a whining or nagging wife that complained her husband no longer loved her if he forgot to kiss her good morning.  She owed her bard careful thought.  Xena felt her jaw muscles tightening.

 

Finally the warrior couldn’t take it and jumped to her feet and began pacing herself. 

 

“What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of me sexually?” the bard asked softly.

 

“What do you mean?” Xena asked with a frown.

 

“What do you see?”

 

Xena didn’t answer but continued frowning.

 

“Do you see me with Bacchus?  With the others at the Bacchanalia or with Callisto?” Gabrielle suddenly demanded.

 

Xena looked like she had been hit with a cold fish upside the head and felt like it.  She sat back down hard on the hay bale.  Again she immediately wanted to deny those images but hesitated as Gabrielle’s green eyes watched her closely.

 

“I don’t know,” Xena finally admitted.  She was surprised when Gabrielle almost seemed relieved by the answer.

 

“Okay,” the bard muttered.  “Maybe we can talk through this.  I can see Mattita with you in my head too.”

 

Xena was stunned.  She knew that Gabrielle’s sexual abuse during the Bacchanalia wasn’t the bard’s fault but it was still hard to deal with.  Especially when Alti had shown her a vision of Gabrielle enjoying the sexual arousal.  It didn’t help imagining Bacchus with the bard either.

 

Then Callisto!  She wasn’t sure which she hated more in the universe, Alti or Callisto.  Okay, she thought, Alti.  She felt hatred plus guilt for Callisto and some of that guilt lessened the hate.  Maybe.

 

That didn’t make the thought of Gabrielle being sexual with the insane blonde easier. 

It surprised Xena that Gabrielle was having the same problems with the thought of the vampire Mattita feeding on the warrior.  Xena knew she shouldn’t have been surprised but she was.

 

Xena continued frowning, deep in thought. 

 

Neither of them had been at fault in any of the incidents but it still was apparently coming between them.

 

Xena’s eyes were bright when she looked back up at her bard.

 

“Okay, how do we fix it?” she demanded, equally of herself as well as of Gabrielle.

 

Gabrielle couldn’t help but grin.  “Typical warrior, if there’s a problem, what’s the immediate solution?”

 

Xena smirked back at her mate.

 

“I don’t know,” the bard admitted.  “I know I love you more than life itself and that I need you.”

 

“Back at you, Gabrielle,” Xena said easily.  “I know it hasn’t been easy being pregnant and coming up here.  I know your mom wanted you to stay in Greece.”

 

“I know but my place is with you, always,” Gabrielle said softly, taking Xena’s hands in her own.  “If we’re going to lose Sasha for a couple of winters or more, then I belong here with you.”

 

“Won’t be easy letting her go,” Xena agreed. 

 

Both mates seemed lost in thought for a few moments.

 

Suddenly, Xena went to her knees in front of Gabrielle, who looked very surprised.  The warrior moved slowly and pulled her sword out and laid it at the bard’s feet.  Next she laid her dagger and then her chakram. 

 

Gabrielle’s breath caught in her throat along with the lump from her heart.

 

How many years before had Xena done the exact same thing in her parents’ barn?

 

“Gabrielle, I love you as I have never loved anyone or anything before,” Xena said softly.  “I will always love you and pledge my heart and soul to you.  I also need you physically and I want that back between us.”

 

Once again, a warrior’s pledge to the bard and Gabrielle felt the emotions filling her eyes.

 

"I swear before all the gods that there is no one but you in my heart and soul and I desire no one but you," Gabrielle answered, a tear escaping her eyes.  "I will love you forever, my love."

 

Xena smiled and picked up the dagger and looked at the bard with her eyebrows rose in question and Gabrielle smiled and nodded.

 

With quick strokes the warrior slit the palms of their left hands open once more, just like at their Amazon bonding ritual.

 

Both women closed their eyes as blood and energy began to mix as they clasped hands, drawing their blood bond closer again.

 

After a few moments Xena got up and grabbed a clean rag from a pile near the tool area and split it in two.  She gently wrapped the bard's hand and let Gabrielle wrap hers.

 

Xena felt the heat beginning all over her body and could almost hear her heart pounding.

 

Gabrielle, feeling an equal level of arousal, could see the passion in the warrior's eyes as Xena began to reach for her and caught Xena's surprised look when Gabrielle held out her hand and stopped her mate.

 

"Not yet, my love," she said finally, trying to get her voice back without it cracking.  "I want the past images totally gone.  I want to take the next few days and drive you insane again.  I want to come up behind you and run my hands up the inside of your thighs until I can hear your breathing increase.  I want to nibble on your neck at night until you whimper and then go to sleep."

 

Xena sat back on her heels, her blue eyes intensely watching the bard closely. 

 

"Okay, I get you," she answered and moved closer to Gabrielle.  Her sharp eyes saw the flush on Gabrielle's face and caught the increase in the bard's pulse at her neck.  She pulled the bard close for a kiss that was tender; soft and yet spoke volumes of what she wanted to do to Gabrielle.  She pulled back after a moment and heard the small whimper from her mate. 

 

"Turn about is fair play, Little One," she whispered and stood up before they both forgot about the plan to rekindle things between them.  The warrior wasn't sure if things weren't already rekindled just having talked things out.

 

"How in Tartarus do you do that?" Gabrielle demanded, her breathing quick.

 

"I have many....."

 

"Arrrgggghhhh!" Xena laughed and ducked as Gabrielle threw hay at her mate.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

For the next two days the Greeks found themselves behaving like lovesick teenagers who could barely keep their hands to themselves.  More than once the bard felt the heat rising to her face as Svenda grinned at them both.  The bard's plan for rekindling the spark between them was working, working so well that they were almost driven insane with desire for each other.

 

Then Sasha approached them and said that they needed to go for a ride that day and wouldn't say anything else. 

 

"What do you mean, Sasha?" Xena questioned her rapidly growing daughter. 

 

"We need to take a ride," the child had answered, a slightly puzzled look on her face as well.

 

"Which direction?" Gabrielle asked.  She felt a little more comfortable with Sasha's vagueness than Xena did.  Occasionally her own vision-dreams left her with little information and feeling confused.

 

"Any direction," Sasha answered, still vague and a distant look in her eyes.

 

"The gods want to talk," Xena deduced with a frown and Gabrielle touched the warrior's arm reassuringly.

 

It didn't matter that they all three agreed that this was the best thing for Sasha, it still wasn't going to be easy to let the child go this soon in her life.  At 11 summers, Xena and Gabrielle both felt it was too soon.

 

The bard decided they would make the best of the ride and packed a picnic lunch and insisted she was still able to ride a horse over Xena's objections.

 

"I am not that helpless!" the bard had snapped.

 

Xena had caught the unconscious movement of Gabrielle's hand over her very large stomach and smiled and pulled the bard to her for a hug.

 

"No, but you're getting harder to hug," Xena teased and was pleased to see Gabrielle's momentary irritation turn to a blush as she playfully smacked Xena on the arm.

 

They settled on a spot near the river and Gabrielle and Sasha both tried their best to get Xena to relax and enjoy the lunch that the bard had packed for them but Xena was constantly glancing around impatiently.

 

Finally Gabrielle threw a piece of bread at her mate.

 

"Settle down, damnit!" she snapped.  "Don't rush it."

 

Xena grinned and leaned back.  "Sorry, guys."

 

"Expecting Odin to fly in from the sky on Sleipnir with a chorus of Valkyries shouting to the skies?" a voice asked simply, the humor thick.

 

Xena was on her feet with sword in hand and Gabrielle had sais in both hands.  The bard couldn't quite get to her feet as fast as she once did so she had one arm moving Sasha behind her as they looked towards the source of the voice.

 

A beautiful woman in Viking clothing stepped out from behind a clump of trees and approached the Greeks easily.  Xena, frowning, lowered her sword and Gabrielle sheathed her sais with a slight smile.

 

"Freya!" the bard exclaimed.

 

Gabrielle couldn't remember a lot about the time she was dead for five days in the North but she had vague memories of the time being made easier by Freya and so held a fondness for the goddess.

 

Sasha's eyes went wide at the sight of the Goddess.  The last time she had seen the Northern Goddess of Love had been right after the battle with Grendel and the child had been tired, stressed and had been grieving over losing Gabrielle along with her mother.  Now she got a good look at the most beautiful woman she had ever seen and her eyes kept going back to the massive necklace of amber, gold, silver and jet the goddess wore around her neck.

 

"Hello, Freya," Xena said simply, her eyes still unhappy.

 

"Let's sit, shall we?" Freya invited and Sasha's eyes lit up brightly at the sight of two large grey-stripped tabby cats emerging from the trees and following the goddess.  They meowed and ran straight to the child; Sasha went to her knees and began petting the exotic animals as they in turn delighted in rubbing up against the child and purring loudly.

 

Xena's eyes went up at the sight of them and Gabrielle was grinning as well.

 

"We've heard of cats, especially among rich Romans.  It's hard to get them out Egypt," Gabrielle mentioned.

 

"They are my favorites and you'll discover that Egypt doesn't have a total claim on them.  These are bigger and stronger than the cats of Egypt and are native to the forests here.  They are just very hard to see and even harder to catch," the goddess explained as Sasha laughed, delighted with her new friends.

 

Xena, who had seen cats in her travels, agreed that these were bigger.  Almost the size of small herding dogs and they looked very strong and agile.  The claws that showed as they danced in delight as Sasha petted them were almost the size of some of the other forest creatures.

 

"What do we talk about, Freya?" Xena asked, inviting the goddess to share their picnic with her hand.  Gabrielle handed the goddess a drinking horn of good mead.

 

"When Sasha will come with me and when she can visit and some of what her training will consist of," Freya said easily.

 

"Freya, this isn't easy for us," Gabrielle said softly and Freya's face softened even more.

 

"I know and I understand," Freya responded.  "But with her potential it has to be done.  None of us can think of any alternatives, the only teacher strong enough to handle her and her training is on a small island off the island of Eire.  She's stubborn and probably wouldn't let you visit the child."

 

Xena's growl was audible to everyone, even Sasha looked up from her new friends for a moment.

 

"Exactly!" Freya agreed.  "Scathach might be an option for warrior training if that's where Sasha's talents lie but not now.  It's either someone like Mars or me, Xena."

 

"I know, I know," the warrior grumbled, "doesn't mean I like it."

 

"What will Sasha be learning from you, Freya?" Gabrielle asked.

 

"She already has strong mental abilities, from seeing the future to empathic abilities.  Sasha will have prophetic visions and she will have the ability to control people's bodies through her mind.  She will be able to stop someone in mid-swing of a sword, or force them to even drop that sword, just by thinking about it."

 

Xena blinked in surprise and Gabrielle looked as stunned as she felt.  The warrior quickly glanced over at her daughter and was pleased that the child wasn't paying attention to them.  Sasha was playing with the cats with a twig and squealing with delight as they cats playfully swatted at the moving branch.

 

Xena and Gabrielle both agreed that might not be the exact knowledge someone should have before developing those abilities.  It would be easy to get cocky or even arrogant with such powers.  They had both seen something of that in Mars and his father Ares.

 

"She'll also be a natural at shamanism, like you," Freya continued.  "And she's inherited that energy bolt throwing thing from your family."

 

Gabrielle grinned at that one: Zeus, Ares, and Xena had the ability, why not the child?

"Anything else?" Xena sounded tired and Gabrielle thought she probably was, it was a little overwhelming discovering your child was going to be a god and have awesome powers.

 

"She'll be able to read strong thoughts from people," Freya finished.

 

"Gods," Xena muttered.

 

"You'll teach her how to control these and not abuse them?" Gabrielle asked, her face reflecting her concern.

 

"As much as anyone can," Freya said simply.

 

"What will happen to her?" Gabrielle asked.

 

"She'll also be taught shamanism and when she had her powers pretty much under control she'll be offered the position of Spae-woman for Axel Skull Splitter's area until she's grown," Freya explained.

 

Xena's frown deepened.  "She won't come back to Greece?"

 

"Are you going back to Greece?" Freya countered and the warrior looked over at her mate and Gabrielle shrugged.

 

"We haven't talked about it but I think Xena is wanting to settle somewhere and she knows I am.  Neither of us care for Rome and its expanding power," Gabrielle said thoughtfully.  "No matter where we go trouble finds us."

 

"Your mate is warrior born and you've learned you have a natural gifting for it as well, it happens," Freya shrugged.  "The North might be friendlier to you both and you would see Sasha."

 

"Why won't she go back to Greece?" Xena asked again.

 

"You know the changes happening in your homeland, Xena," Freya said softly, watching Sasha laying face down on the grass and giggling as the cats playfully leaped over her and chased the twig in her hand.  "How would they treat someone as psychic as she is going to be?"

 

Xena frowned.  She knew that her mother kept her own worship of Hecate quiet from most everyone because of the hostility towards anything to do with Dark Goddesses and Dark Gods.  Both Xena and Gabrielle had seen some village women stoned who were thought to be witches because they were psychic and it was getting worse.

 

"They'd demand that she be an oracle in a temple or kill her," Gabrielle answered, echoing Xena's thoughts.

 

"Yes, here those with giftings are still respected if the gifts aren't used for darkness," Freya responded.

 

"What happens when she's considered an adult?" Xena questioned.

 

"She becomes a Valkyrie, a hero, a wife," Freya shrugged.  "The future isn't set in that regard.  Most likely all of those."

 

"When do you take her?" Xena continued frowning.

 

"Now," the goddess answered softly.  "She will be protected, loved and trained."

 

"When can we see her?" Gabrielle asked and Freya looked pained.

 

"At least one moon," she said in a low voice.

 

Xena didn't seem surprised.  "Or longer, right?  To give her time to adjust and get past the homesickness."

 

"Yes," Freya looked relieved that Xena understood.

 

The warrior growled her displeasure.

 

"Now?" Gabrielle whispered.

 

"Want me to wait three days and build up the anguish?" Freya asked gently.

 

Xena jumped to her feet and began pacing under the trees. 

 

Sasha, catching the movement and her mom's mood, turned away from the cats and approached Freya and Gabrielle.  She noticed the bard attempting to hold back tears.

 

"It's now, isn't it?" she asked simply.

 

"Yes, it'll be easier on everyone if it's sudden," Freya explained.

 

The child looked confused and with the frown on her face, looked very much like her Mom.  Gabrielle held out her arms and Sasha's attempt at being an adult crumbled and she crawled into her mum's arms, attempting not to sniffle.

 

Gabrielle held the child and fought back her own tears.  After a few moments she pulled Sasha back to look into the child's blue eyes.

 

"You heard what was said and what powers you could develop.  Serious stuff, kid," the bard said gently.  "You'll need help dealing with that stuff."

 

Sasha nodded unhappily and Gabrielle could hear Xena pacing and growling.

 

"You be smart and take advantage of everything that Freya and the others will teach you," Gabrielle continued.

 

"I will, I'll make you both proud of me!" Sasha declared.

 

"I know you will, you already have," Gabrielle said, almost choking.  "I love you very much, Sasha.  We'll be around waiting to see you."

 

"I love you too, Mum," Sasha whimpered and Gabrielle drew her into a hug again. 

"Now, go talk to your mom," Gabrielle said simply and brushed away the tears as Sasha scampered to Xena.

 

Freya reached out and gently took two fresh tears onto her fingers and Gabrielle's eyes widened as they turned into two perfect pieces of amber.  The goddess placed them in Gabrielle's hand with a sad smile.

 

Xena felt the familiar irritation that came with feeling helpless about anything.  She hated that feeling, both of them.  Sometimes it felt like she didn't have control over much in her life, especially lately.

 

She had heard Gabrielle talking with Sasha and heard the child approaching her.  The warrior turned and took the child into her arms without a word, as mother and child cried softly.  It was more than a few moments before Xena could look down at Sasha.

 

"You listen to Freya, okay?" she said softly.  "She's good people for a god."

 

"I will," Sasha promised.

 

"Remember we love you and always will! You were the only thing that kept me going when I lost Gabrielle, this is hard for me."

 

"Me too, I'm nervous," Sasha admitted.

 

"You'll be great, Sash," Xena quickly hugged her child again as Freya and the cats walked up behind the child.  The goddess placed her hands on Sasha's shoulders and Xena saw the momentary panic in the child's eyes.

 

"I love you, Sasha," she said softly and looked up into Freya's eyes.

 

Before Sasha could protest or break down totally, they were gone.

 

Warm arms enveloped the warrior as her strength faded and her strong front collapsed.  Together two mothers cried.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

We're both hurting so bad with Sasha gone.  We didn't think it would hurt this bad but it does and always in the back of our minds is Kiryk.  Where is that little boy?  What hell did Callisto send him into?  He's so small, younger than Callisto was when her family was killed.  What if we can't find him soon, will he still remember us?

Trying to figure out Callisto's twisted mind isn't easy.  She would send him somewhere that would hurt Xena as much as possible, but where?  As a slave, never to be found among the thousands of slaves in the Empire?  To the Arabs as a slave, a fate even worse than a Roman slave?  To someone who will raise him as an enemy to Xena?

Gods, it gives me a headache even thinking about it.  How do you protect your children? 

Xena is one of the greatest warriors the world has seen and yet she couldn't stop Solan from dying.  We're both fairly formidable opponents and we couldn't stop Callisto from crippling Reija and hurting Cyrene and Torris.  I think about the child I'm going to have and become frightened. 

When we learned that we are immortal I had a lot of thinking to do about that one.  Part of those thoughts was relief, eventually those who had been affected by Xena's past would grow older and die and maybe we could move past that finally. 

Then Callisto gets out of that damned lava.  As a god, she'll never die and may haunt us for centuries.  And Mars is a god, the new War God and we're not exactly on his good side either.  Hades, we haven't even dealt with Anthony yet and his slaughter of my Amazons.

When does it end?  Will we continue to make enemies that last for years as we go along?  Will we be dealing with conflict and battles the rest of our lives, which could be forever?

What does the future hold for my child?  A child of Xena, a demi-god and me, an immortal.  We both have powers inherited from our parents who are gods and the child is from both of us, will that mean he or she will also be gifted and maybe immortal?  What if he or she isn't?  How hard will that be to watch a child grow up into an adult, have children of their own and then watch them die and you don't grow older?  We were beginning to feel that with Solan before his death.  He had turned into such a fine young man, married with a son of his own. 

Xena certainly doesn't look old enough to have had an adult son. 

How will our families deal with the immortality?  How will the children of Torris and Lila explain Xena and me to their children?  With people beginning to turn away from the gods, how will we, the children of gods, be received over time?  I remember how hostile Asher, the Hebrew Zealot, was to any god other than his.

Gods, I'm tired all the time and getting grumpy.  Xena just smiles and says that it gets worse the closer my time.  My feet hurt, my back hurts, I can't walk anymore, I waddle!

The closeness between Xena and me is better.  With Sasha leaving the plan to drive each other insane until we couldn't stand it any longer has been put on hold.  Xena is either depressed and brooding or angry and brooding.  The warriors she's been training have paid for it too and I smile as I write this.  I've seen them coming in at the end of the day dragging their swords, exhaustion all over their faces.

Xena's fighting skills are well known up here as well and we're starting to get inquiries from other steadings about Xena training some of their warriors too.  Jarl Axel says we always are welcome in his steading.  They also want me to train them with daggers, sais and staves after I deliver the child.  I know I surprise a lot of them with my fighting skills, being so much smaller than most of them.

It's coming up on my blood craving time and I'm starting to get really irritable.  I've been working with rare meat all week, the women of the steading aren't surprised by the request for almost raw meat, seems they expect it out of pregnant women.  That helps hide my Bacchae side.  In some ways the Northerners are more superstitious than we're accustomed to and they really fear the vampiir, umpir, and werewolves up here.  I'm not anxious to announce to everyone that I'm part "vampiir" and drink blood.

I don't know if I can get by on drinking just animal blood.   It's hurting worse than usual this time.

Gods, it brings up all kinds of fears I don't want to face. 

Is the blood hurting the baby?  Seems that trying not to drink would hurt my child worse, I nearly died when I couldn't get blood a couple of times.  Will he or she inherit this damned craving?  I still feel guilty that I nearly took my own life but just thinking about having a child from Bacchus but I can understand how I got to that point.  Xena says I may never get all my memories back from the Bacchanalia Bacchus tortured me with, especially if I did end up with Bacchus sexually.  I suppose that's best, I'm not sure I could take those memories.  The few that are there are bad enough to deal with. 

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Xena had a different way of dealing with her grief, anger, irritation and feeling of being helpless.  She slashed at things with her sword, practiced fighting drills until she dropped, and worked the warriors she was training into exhaustion. 

 

After several days most of the edge of the pain had worn down, much to the relief of her recruits, and Xena began to take a closer notice of her mate.

 

Neither one of them had been sleeping well; especially with Gabrielle being uncomfortable but the last few days were worse.  Xena had attributed that to the grieving over losing Sasha but her sharp warrior eyes began to take in the bard's shaking hands, darting eyes, and request for rare/raw meat.

 

For some reason the bard's blood craving coincided with the moon turning full.  Xena wasn't surprised by this, knowing that most rituals and spells were planned around the movement of the sun, the earth and especially the moon.  She had almost lost Gabrielle to Bacchus the first time during the Harvest Full moon of the Fall season.  Since the craving had surfaced, it became unbearable on full moons and it was getting close to a full moon.

With the recent distance between them and all the stress, the warrior decided this full moon shouldn't be torture for the bard and began planning.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

"Come on, Little One," a voice whispered in the bard's ear and she moaned, pulling the blanket over her head.

 

Xena chuckled in Gabrielle's ear and a warm hand moved slowly under the bard's sleeping tunic, lightly playing over Gabrielle's large womb lovingly and then moving up along the bard's ribs.

 

The warrior felt Gabrielle's breath catch for a moment and her body shift slightly closer to Xena and the warrior grinned and began nuzzling Gabrielle's neck from behind. 

 

"Hmmmm," the bard muttered softly.

 

Xena moved her hand slowly down Gabrielle's body, softly over her waist, now resembling something of its former shape with the bard on her side, and over hips that had expanded nicely to accept the child.  The warrior always marveled at Gabrielle's body and how it felt to touch her mate.  Xena frowned to herself for a moment, how could they have let something come between them, she wondered.  What had happened to both of them wasn't their fault.  Then again, Xena reflected, they were both human.

 

Gabrielle's body shifted slightly again and Xena knew the bard was somewhat more awake and her body was beginning to respond to the touch of the warrior. 

 

As Xena's hand and fingers slipped between her legs from behind, Gabrielle twisted enough to capture Xena's lips with her own.

 

"Oh gods, you do know how to wake me up," the bard muttered as Xena's head dropped to the bard's neck once more.  She gasped as Xena began stroking her, bringing her even more awake.