Frau
Hunter Ash
Aka
Dana Cooper-Kjarr
Disclaimers: The characters of Xena:
Warrior Princess and all others associated with the television series of the
same name are owned by Studios USA. This is a work of fan fiction and no
copyright infringement is intended.
Sex/Subtext/Alt
Fiction: This story assumes a loving
relationship between people of the same gender as well as heterosexual
sex. Sorry if this bugs you or is
illegal where you live or if you’re 18 yet.
Violence/Language: No more than a usual episode.
FIN: This story takes place after the series ending A
Friend In Need I and II and contains spoilers for the episode.
The
young woman walked confidently through the shopping area of the busy city of
Arcadia, even though she wore no weapons and had no escort. She had seen enough cities throughout the
Empire to know that she was in the part of town where anything could be bought,
including someone’s life.
The
woman stopped and frowned, where to look for her prey? Who to ask?
Glancing around she saw a tavern that looked like little more than a
rat’s den. Two men were unconscious
outside the doors, either from drink or fight, she couldn’t tell which. Another one leaned against the wall near the
door; this one standing upright and the girl could tell immediately that his
armor and weapons had seen better days and that his purse was probably as flat
as Hebrew bread.
She
approached slowly, letting his eyes take in her face, body and that she wasn’t
wearing any weapons other than an eating dagger in her belt and that was hardly
a threat.
“Well,
well,” he grinned, his face looked like it hadn’t been shaved in several days
and that was probably the last time he had bathed as well, she reflected. His hair was long and unkempt and she fought
to keep the disdain from her face and eyes.
“What can I do for you, sister?”
“I’m
looking for someone,” she said easily, leaning against the wall next to him.
She
knew he was looking at her with frank curiosity but trying to hide it. She puzzled him and she wasn’t solving the
puzzle for him. She moved like a
warrior and acted like she knew how to handle herself, yet she was unarmed and
gentle looking.
“You’ve
found someone,” he grinned and leaned an arm against the wall, tilting over
her.
“I’m
looking for a female warrior, I heard she might be in this area,” the girl said
calmly.
“Now
why would a beautiful thing like you want a female, warrior or not?” he
demanded, his grinning widening.
“Just
business,” she answered with a smile of her own. “After my business, I should have some time to get to know the
city better.”
The
man was clearly pleased with the invitation and leaned closer.
“Why
not now? Just let your business go until tomorrow,” he suggested.
The
young woman sighed, as if sorry about the turn of events. “I need to take care of this first, think
you can help me and then we’ll meet up later?” she asked and rattled her purse
inside her belt.
She
saw his eyes light up at the sound of clinking coins.
“Who
are you looking for?”
“Named
Gabrielle, small but deadly. Blonde and carrying a chakram, a round thing she
can throw and take off your ear?”
“The
bard who rode with Xena,” he commented, losing his smile and straightening up a
little.
“Yes,
that’s the one,” she agreed.
“Why
her?” he demanded. “Listen, there’s
plenty of other warriors for hire, ex-soldiers, ex-bandits, ex-prisoners,
ex-gladiators, take your pick.
Tartarus, I’d even put my sword up for you.”
“It’s
personal business with her,” the girl answered.
“Hades!
Take my advice, leave that crazy bitch alone,” he urged and frowned when she
rattled her purse again. “Alright, two
streets over to the North is a row of taverns, even worse than these here,” he
grinned at her disbelieving look.
“Yup,”
he continued. “She’s in the one on the
far end and has been for a couple of days now.
The sign outside has a slaughtered pig’s head on it.”
The
woman reached into her purse and then handed the bandit three gold coins. It was more than generous for the
information but she was pleased, this was the closest she had gotten to the
elusive bard in an entire month.
“You’ll
be back tonight?” he asked hopefully, quickly tucking the coins away and
glancing around to see if any of his “friends” had seen the glint in the
daylight.
“If
I can, my friend,” she hedged and ducked out from under his leaning body and
was moving swiftly down the crowded way before he could protest.
The
bandit shrugged, he knew she probably wouldn’t be back; she was too clean for
this area for a female. He didn’t mind
much, not with three gold coins, three coins were enough in this area for his
own bath, room, food and plenty of drink.
He
grimaced at the thought of her mission though; he wouldn’t be caught dead
trying to find Gabrielle, the Warrior Bard.
Maybe then again, he reflected, he would probably be dead if he found
her. The bandit shook his head, dismissing
the thoughts of the insane warrior bard and the stranger, he had money in his
pocket to spend.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Gabrielle
groaned at the sound of the pounding, unsure if it was her head or the door or
both. She pulled the pillow over her
head and refused to think about it.
The
pounding continued until she reached out blindly and grabbed a mug off the
table next to her head and threw it at the door.
“Get
off or you’re dead!” she shouted and ignored the mumbling from the body
entangled with hers.
Amazingly
the bard was sitting up in the bed, facing the door in an instant, chakram
having already left her hand when the door was kicked open.
It
took more than a moment for her to realize that the chakram hadn’t embedded
itself in the door next to the head of whoever had dared come in. Surprisingly enough it had been caught by
the female standing there.
Gabrielle
frowned, her face reflecting her puzzlement.
Only four women in the world had
ever caught that chakram in flight: Xena, Callisto, Eve and Gabrielle. Well, Princess Diana had but that had been
luck. Gabrielle blinked, trying to clear her mind.
“Eve,”
she finally said.
“Yes,”
the young woman agreed and entered the room, kicking the door shut behind
her. The eyes of Xena’s daughter were
flashing with anger, reminding Gabrielle not of the peace loving Eve but of the
power hungry warrior Livia.
Gabrielle
looked down at the man lying next to her.
He was also awake but wisely stayed quiet. The bard didn’t even remember him from the night before.
“Is
this how you mourn my mother?!” Eve demanded, pointing the chakram at the
scruffy young man.
The
male, a sailor just off a long voyage, suddenly wished he were back at
sea. He didn’t know who the stranger
was but the tension and the sense of deadliness from both women was enough to
turn a man towards a celibate priesthood.
“What’s
your name?” Gabrielle asked.
“Paulinus,”
he said softly.
“Paulinus,
meet Eve,” Gabrielle said nonchalantly.
“Eve is my…. What are we anyway?”
“I
used to think of you as my adopted mother,” Eve countered.
Gabrielle
looked back down at him. “Get out,” she
said, easily dismissing him.
The
male started to protest about getting up naked in front of the strange woman
but took one look in Eve’s bright eyes and Gabrielle’s dull ones and changed
his mind. He reached down to the floor
and slipped on his trousers, hiding as much of his personal business as
possible. He then made the strategic
and wise decision to grab the rest of his clothes and continue dressing in the
hallway. Paulinus darted past the
female with the shiny round thing that looked sharper than any knife he had
ever seen.
Gabrielle
reached down on the other side of the bed and grabbed her top and put it on.
“How
I mourn for Xe… your mother is my own business,” she snapped as she turned to
sit on the edge of the bed, reaching for her skirt and underwear.
“By
getting into fights almost every night? Selling your sword? Sleeping with
whoever can out drink you?” Eve demanded, moving further into the room.
“Again,
my own business,” the bard snapped, trying to work past the hangover she was
beginning to feel.
“This
isn’t what she wanted,” Eve protested, sitting down next to Gabrielle.
“She
wanted to stay with me and didn’t!” Gabrielle growled, taking the chakram out
of Eve’s hand. “She died and stayed
that way!”
The
bard closed her eyes against the apparent pain.
“Do
you know what happened?” she whispered, her fists clenched tightly.
“Someone
told me that she died saving a village from a thousand warriors and stayed dead
to redeem several thousand people she had killed in her youth,” Eve
answered.
“Yeah,
that’s the short version of it,”
Gabrielle agreed, opening her eyes and reaching for the pitcher of wine. She drank straight from the pitcher since
she had thrown her mug across the room and ignoring Eve’s frown. “The catch was that I could have saved her;
I could have brought her back to life.”
Eve
felt her heart sinking as the bard’s pain began to hit the peacekeeper.
“What
happened?” Eve asked softly, she couldn’t believe that her mother hadn’t been
brought back if there had been a chance.
She knew that Gabrielle would have crossed heaven and hell for Xena, and
had before.
“Xena
asked me not to at the last moment,” the bard explained, tears beginning to
escape her eyes. “She said she had to
stay dead for those people she had killed in her youth.”
“Oh
sweet gods,” Eve whispered, beginning to understand.
“I
didn’t save her,” Gabrielle turned away and drank more of the wine. “I let her stay dead. She promised me that she’d never leave me,
even in death. Even as a ghost but then
she left me.”
“Gabrielle,”
Eve said softly but Gabrielle shrugged off the girl’s comforting hand from her
shoulder. Eve frowned, the bard was
obviously hung over but Gabrielle’s green eyes were shining brightly, almost
manic.
“She
was with me,” the bard continued. “We
planned the voyage home; I was going to head to Egypt to help Cleopatra the
Younger. I knew Xena wanted me to
branch out on my own, establish myself without her. At the same time she was with me, I knew I could face anything
with her there, even if no one else could see or hear her.”
“What
happened?” Eve asked.
“We
spent a few days in Nippon, with me mostly crying and adjusting to her being
gone but not really gone,” the bard continued, her voice taking on a harder edge. “Then we started to Egypt on a ship. I knew it was going to take forever to get
there but it seemed like I had time and nowhere else to go and no real goals.”
Gabrielle
managed a small smile. “The crew
thought I was insane, I kept forgetting that Xena could hear my thoughts and
I’d speak out loud to her.”
Eve
managed her own smile at the thought of that one. She had seen a number of insane and possessed people during her
travels and agreed that Gabrielle must have seemed insane to anyone observing her.
“Then?”
Eve encouraged.
Gabrielle
lost her smile. “We started to get away from
the islands and she cried out for me and began fading,” the tears began to flow
down the bard’s cheeks again and she wiped at them angrily. “I couldn’t touch her anymore and she
disappeared. Leaving me alone.”
Gabrielle’s
eyes lost their focus as she remembered the last moments with Xena’s ghost.
“Xena!” the bard had screamed, causing
several of the sailors to look over, concern or alarm showing on their
faces.
Gabrielle watched them as they quickly turned
away from the strange Gaijin in their midst.
The bard knew that they thought most barbarians were insane and that she
only proved it. Gabrielle talked
constantly to things that weren’t there and if they were there then the Nippon
islanders wanted nothing to do with them.
Gabrielle had overheard some of them talking
that it was only the fact that she was a hero and had defeated a well-known
Samurai in honorable combat that had convinced the sailors she was a good person
and not cursed by evil spirits. The bard had also heard they still didn’t want
anywhere near the insane woman
Eve didn’t say anything. The grief radiating off of Gabrielle was almost physically overwhelming and Eve better understood the bard’s spiral downward.
Even
the normally rigid and stern god of Eli had accepted the fact that Xena and
Gabrielle were meant to be together, even in death. The incidents separating them in Heaven had caused a major holy
war between Heaven and Hell until they were sent back to earth to set things
right again.
No
matter what had happened in their lives, it always came back to them being
together.
Eve
sat pondering for a moment as Gabrielle reached down and began putting on her
boots. The peacekeeper noted the bard’s
shaking hands as Gabrielle began lacing the boots.
The
former Bitch of Rome knew that Gabrielle was stronger than most people gave her
credit for. The bard often got lost in
Xena’s shadow but Eve also knew that Gabrielle was as strong as Eve’s mother had
been.
Eve
thought about it, trying to puzzle together why she had found Gabrielle in this
condition and then finally realized the answer. If Xena had merely died, then Gabrielle would have grieved and
eventually would have moved on. If Xena
had stayed with Gabrielle, even as a ghost, then the bard would have moved on
and become the warrior bard that Xena had foreseen, the student graduating and
moving on past the teacher.
Neither
of those had happened. Xena had died
but had promised to stay with Gabrielle.
Xena leaving the bard after becoming a ghost had been more than
Gabrielle could take.
Eve
recognized that Gabrielle no longer trusted that she and Xena would be
together, in this life or the next and the bard was lost without that promise.
“Oh
gods, Gabrielle,” she said softly and the bard finally relented and let Eve
pull her into Eve’s arms, Gabrielle’s tough exterior finally crumbling into
sobs in her adopted daughter’s arms.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Gabrielle
hadn’t protested when Eve had pulled her out of the dingy inn and into a better
part of town. Food and a long hot bath
had quickly followed, especially after Eve had caught sight of the bard’s ribs. Gabrielle had refused to answer when her
daughter had demanded to know the last time she had eaten and had just turned
her head.
Eve
wasn’t surprised when the bard fell asleep in the warm water with the young
woman softly scrubbing her back. She
wondered when the last time Gabrielle had actually slept without the help of
alcohol. This in itself was a surprise,
Gabrielle had never been one for drinking, and not in all the time she had been
with Xena, now she seemed to depend on it.
Eve bundled a sleepy bard into a clean bed and sat down on the bed
across the room.
“God
of Eli,” she whispered while she watched her sleeping adopted mom. “How can I help her? She’s hurting so badly, half her soul is
missing now that Xena is gone.”
The
bard turned restlessly in her sleep, the pain obvious on Gabrielle’s face.
“She
hasn’t said it but I think the fights are meant to lead to her death, an
honorable way to kill herself,” Eve said thoughtfully. “Without the hope of seeing Mom on the other
side, she has nothing to live for.”
“Eve,”
a male voice said softly in Eve’s ears.
“With Xena’s spirit trapped in the Japanese spirit world their destiny
is out of balance.”
“Eli,
how do I help them?” Eve asked, closing her eyes. “I owe Gabrielle so much, she saved my mother from the darkness
so many times. How can I save her from
her own?”
“I
don’t know,” the voice admitted. “The
powers here can’t help. Somehow Xena
has to be released from the Japanese Realm.
That will free them to be together once Gabrielle crosses.”
“Gabrielle
won’t go back to Nippon, even if she could see Xena in the Japans,” Eve
protested. “I think she’s afraid that
Xena won’t be able to come to her, even there.”
“Aphrodite
was the one who let you know what had happened and gave you money for the trip,
can she help now?” Eli’s voice asked.
“I
don’t know,” Eve admitted. “She likes
Gabrielle and Xena a lot, especially Gabrielle. It was hurting her to see how bad Gabrielle had gotten in the
last three months. Maybe she can help.”
“Someone
needs to, Eve,” Eli said softly, the sadness clear in his voice. “She’ll be lost if we can’t figure it out
soon.”
Eve
frowned and opened her eyes, watching Gabrielle thrash in her sleep, reaching
and calling for Xena.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Somehow
they managed to get out of town with the warrior bard only getting into one
fight and causing only a few broken bones.
Gabrielle
was quiet once they were on the road and Eve wasn’t used to that. She was also at a loss as to what to do
next. The daughter of Xena was very
unsure as to how to help her adopted mom.
She knew she couldn’t keep Gabrielle out of trouble if the bard wanted
to find it and Eve knew she couldn’t keep an eye on the bard for their rest of
their lives if Gabrielle was determined to follow her downward path.
The
bard was too thin; her clothes had gotten ragged and uncared for. The only thing the bard had paid attention
to were her horse and her weapons. Eve
did have to smile at that, typical
warrior, she thought. Gabrielle had learned well from Xena that
you need to care for a horse better than yourself, the peacekeeper thought.
Eve
had set up camp late in the evening; she had pushed hard to get them out of
civilization and into some wilderness and that had taken them into
darkness. Knowing Greece and the Fates
as she did, Eve knew that wasn’t a guarantee against trouble but it might help.
Gabrielle
had helped but hadn’t initiated anything on her own. After the one bout of crying, the bard had shut down emotionally
and Eve couldn’t draw her out anymore.
“I’m
going down to the stream to refill the water-skins, okay?”
The
bard didn’t answer but began sharpening her strange Japanese sword and Eve felt
a chill pass over her body. The bard
reminded Eve so much of Xena when her mother was in a bad mood or facing a
problem.
This
time it was Gabrielle facing a problem; the one involving life and the fact
that she didn’t want to live it.
Eve
quickly refilled the water-skins and then held out her hands.
“Aphrodite,
will you come to me?” she said softly.
The
follower of Eli couldn’t help but smile when the air simmered with sparkles and
gold dust and the Greek Goddess of Love appeared in front of her.
“Hi,
sweet cheeks!” the goddess said cheerfully and then frowned. “Not going well,
huh?”
“She’s
lost the will to live and doesn’t care about anything,” Eve responded.
“It’s
been three months and she’s just getting worse,” Aphrodite complained.
“Eli
says that Xena’s spirit is trapped in the Japanese Spirit Realm and can’t
follow Gabrielle outside of the Nippon islands,” Eve explained.
“Bummer,
then let’s get Gabrielle back there!” Dite exclaimed. “I’d rather have her here but if she can be with Xena there then
let’s get her there!”
Eve
shook her head and the goddess frowned again.
“I
don’t think she’ll go. Deep down she
realizes that when she dies that they’ll be separated, maybe forever,” Eve
continued, frowning in frustration herself.
“They
aren’t meant to be separated!” Dite protested, her lips pursed in a pout. “They’re meant to have life after life
together and to be with each other in the spirit realm during the in-between
times!”
“I
know, all the gods know that but Xena’s spirit can’t do that,” Eve felt her own
eyes filling with tears.
“When
Gabrielle dies she’ll go to the Amazon lands or the Fields and Xena will be
stuck in the Japan Spirit Realm?” Dite frowned, contemplating the problem.
“Yes,
exactly,” Eve confirmed. “When they
fought Alti in India they had the strength to defeat her because they knew they
would be together in other lives. They
used the strength of their connection.”
“Now
that’s been broken,” Dite muttered, plopping gracefully down next to Eve.
“Yes,
and so has Gabrielle,” Eve wiped the tears away. “I’ve seen people like this before, Aphrodite. They didn’t live long after losing their
mates or their families.”
“I
know, Blue Eyes, I know,” Dite said thoughtfully.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Gabrielle
looked around the camp without much thought.
Most of the time she merely curled up under a tree wrapped in her cloak
without bothering to set up camp. Eve
had been right; Gabrielle couldn’t really remember the last decent meal she had
until her adopted daughter had come along.
She
knew the girl was trying to help her, to save her from herself but Gabrielle
didn’t care anymore.
The
warrior bard moved from sharpening the deadly sharp katana to sharpening the
chakram.
How many years had she been with Xena, she pondered? She had lost track a long time ago. Including
those 25 years on ice; at least 30 or more. Ever since that day when the raiders came to Poteidia her life
had centered on Xena. Gabrielle had
faced death willingly and had learned to kill for her mate. The bard remembered facing a Roman cross
without fear as long as she was with Xena.
She had given up a chance at escape to try and save Xena and then faced
Roman spikes driven through her flesh and bones. One of the most painful deaths imaginable faced with a small
smile because Xena was there and would be with her on the other side.
Gabrielle
fought back the tears that always seemed to overwhelm her whenever she let
herself think too much. She growled in
frustration, wanting a drink and knowing that Eve would have gotten rid of any
alcohol Gabrielle had before leaving the city.
It was one way to stop the thoughts and to stop the pain.
The
bard knew Eve was right; this wasn’t what Xena would have wanted for her. Xena would have wanted the bard to become a
hero in her own right. A hero without a
dark past like Xena. The warrior had
expected Gabrielle to become twice the hero she had been and the bard had let
her warrior down.
Gabrielle
frowned at herself. She knew she now
had the skills, the talent and the gifts for it. Even without Xena’s chakram, Gabrielle had become deadly in a
fight and would become better than Xena had been, given time and practice with
the sword.
She
just didn’t have the heart. Oh, she
could still take out the bad guys, kill the bandits, and rescue the weak and
helpless and still planned to do just that.
Gabrielle just didn’t have the heart of a warrior anymore. She knew she was looking for that fight that
would finally make her feel something other than a flash of adrenaline rush and
delight in the fight, something that would last beyond the few moments of a
fight. Something that could make her
feel again and she knew she would never find it.
Eve
was right; Gabrielle was looking for the fight that would finally end the
pain. Maybe the next life she could
forget Xena, she thought to herself.
Her next life would be lost without her soul mate but maybe in the next
life she wouldn’t know why she was miserable.
Maybe the next life would be less painful.
“Gabrielle,”
a voice said softly in her ear and she wasn’t surprised when strong and firm
hands rested on her shoulders.
“Go
away,” she said, her voice flat, continuing to sharpen the chakram.
“Let
me help you,” the voice offered, the hands moving gently down the bard’s arms.
“Go
away, we’ve been through this. I don’t
want to rule the world, I don’t want to be a warlord, and I don’t want anything
you can offer,” Gabrielle said in a tired voice.
“Don’t
you think I’m hurting too?” the voice demanded and Gabrielle could feel his
breath on her neck.
“Ares,
you don’t know how to feel anything,” she snapped but didn’t shake off his
hands nor fight back when he pulled her back slightly to lean into him.
He
wrapped his arms around her as she stopped sharpening the chakram.
“I
loved her too,” he whispered. “You’re
lost and confused, Gabrielle. I
understand that. I can help you feel
again.”
“How,
what could you possibly offer me that would mean anything?” she suddenly
demanded, moving out of his arms and standing up. She replaced the chakram at her belt as she turned to face him.
“What
are you looking for when you go to bed with whoever is available?” he asked,
stepping over the log she had been sitting on and placing his hands on her arms
again, drawing her close.
“Someone
to punch in the night when I toss and turn, I guess,” she said bitterly.
“You’re
trying to feel something, anything again,” he countered and the bard frowned,
again turning out of his arms. “You
remember the desert tree when I showed you what it felt like to be a god?”
Gabrielle
did remember, the grief over Eli’s death falling away from her like old
clothing, the surge of energy dancing through her veins and across her skin
like lightning dancing too close.
“Yeah,
when you killed my friend Eli?” she demanded, turning her back on him.
“Ancient
history,” he said casually. She could
feel him behind her again and wished for a drink or a fight. “I can make you feel like that again. I can make you feel.”
“I
don’t want to feel anything,” the bard muttered.
“Don’t
you miss her strong hands on your arms like this?” he asked, moving closer
behind the bard. “Leaning into her
taller body, letting her wrap her arms around you, comforting and safe?”
Gabrielle
felt the tears springing to her eyes again and closed them, trying to fight
them back. She did miss that, more than
anything. Most of all she missed just
having Xena there.
“I
loved her too,” Ares muttered softly, lowering his head to begin nuzzling the
bard’s neck.
The
bard gasped and grabbed Ares arms as that sensation swept over her again, that
godlike energy, and her head went back, offering more of her neck to him.
“I
can give you a new future,” he promised.
“Won’t
you be satisfied until you bed the entire family?!” a voice demanded and
Gabrielle blinked as the energy faded.
The
bard frowned and moved out of Ares’ arms as they turned and saw Eve standing at
the edge of the clearing, hands on her hips and water-skins at her feet. The daughter of Xena and former lover of
Ares was obviously pissed.
“Go
enlighten someone somewhere else,” Ares snapped and drew Gabrielle back into
his arms, looking down into her green eyes.
“I know you don’t think you have a future, in this life or the next, but
I can give you one.”
With
a flash he was gone, leaving the bard looking confused and Eve totally angry.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The
rest of the evening was spent in an angry silence between the two women. Eve knew how persuasive Ares could be; she
had been in those arms often enough herself.
She also knew that Gabrielle was not herself or thinking
rationally. Hades, Gabrielle wasn’t thinking at all.
Eve finally couldn’t stand the silence any longer.
“What
does he want?”
“I
don’t know,” Gabrielle admitted.
“What,
give you world domination, riches, power?” Eve demanded.
“No,
he didn’t offer any of that,” the bard said, no emotion in her voice. “He said he could help me feel again.”
Eve
was puzzled. She expected an offer of
power, wealth, anything but that.
“What
did he mean by that?” she asked aloud.
“I
don’t know what he wants and why he wants me,” Gabrielle said, her voice
irritable. She lay down on her sleeping
furs and threw her cloak over her, ending the conversation.
When
Eve woke the next morning she found just a simple note and Gabrielle and her
horse gone.
“Eve, I know you’re trying to help and I
thank you for it. I wish I could share
the grief I know you’re feeling for losing Xena. I just can’t and I’m sorry.
Please don’t follow, I don’t know where I’m going to end up but I don’t
want to drag you down with me.”
“I loved your mother more than life
itself. Without her on the other side I
admit that I’m lost. “
“You’ll find her ashes in a sealed box in
your packs. If you find me after I
fall, please take my ashes and combine them with hers, maybe I can find a small
measure of peace that way. Scatter the
ashes to the sea and let the Amazons know I’m gone.”
“I do love you and I am proud of you and I
know that Xena was as well. Goodbye,
Gabrielle.”
Eve
looked to the sky and screamed in frustration.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“You’re
a deity, why can’t you find her?” Eve demanded as she looked once more over at
the box containing her mother’s ashes, the dinner in front of her forgotten.
Aphrodite
resisted the urge to get right back in Eve’s face. She could understand because she felt the same irritation.
“I
don’t know! Sometimes it’s not that
easy to track humans,” Dite complained.
“Especially if they’re outside our range of talents.”
“What
do you mean?” Eve questioned.
“If
she was pining away for a long lost love, or in love with someone but keeping
quiet, or having an affair, I could track her easily. If she were just falling in love with someone new, Cupid could
spot her easily. She’s not dealing with
any of those emotions,” Dite tried to explain.
“So
Ares probably knows right where she is,” Eve complained.
“Probably
and he isn’t likely to tell us.”
“I
wonder if he’s gotten to her,” Eve asked thoughtfully.
“He
is awfully good looking,” Dite said wistfully.
“And
seductive, I know, been there,” Eve complained with a frown. “She was so lost, Dite.”
It
had been another two months and Eve had totally lost track of Gabrielle. There were times she couldn’t understand it
and wondered if there were outside forces trying to keep her from finding
Gabrielle. She suspected Ares might be
blocking her attempt to get back to the bard.
There
were traces, commonly broken bones and corpses but the trail was usually days
old. The tales that were told about the
warrior bard raised the hairs on Eve’s neck as she and Aphrodite searched up
and down Greece for Gabrielle.
Eve
had grown up with tales of Xena and her amazing feats in battle and fights but
the ones she was hearing about Gabrielle made those seem pale. It made Gabrielle’s warrior skills apparent
to both Eve and Aphrodite and it also made it clear that the bard was taking
enormous risks.
They
had come close to catching up with Gabrielle when the bard had taken on twenty
bandits by herself, most of them armed with arrows. That encounter had left Gabrielle flat on her back for a week,
recovering from several wounds from arrows and swords. Most of the bandits had been killed. Eve and Aphrodite had missed her by two days
that time.
“Can’t
we ask someone else for help?” Eve asked.
“Why
won’t your side help?” Aphrodite countered.
She was getting tired of the traveling as well. She had duties to attend to and found
herself zapping first back to Olympus and then back to Eve and back again.
“I
don’t know, Eli gives advice when he can but they can’t physically help,” Eve
explained.
Aphrodite
surprised the young woman by suddenly screaming in frustration and standing
up. Eve sat stunned as the Goddess of
Love began pacing the small room they had taken in one of the countless inns
they had been in over the last two months.
“Enough
of this!” Dite exclaimed. “You find
Gabrielle, I don’t care what it takes! Put a reward out for her capture if you
think that will do it, just find her!”
“Wait
a minute!” Eve protested. “Bounties
never worked against Xena, do you really think they’d work against Gabrielle
either?”
“No,”
Aphrodite agreed thoughtfully. “You’re
right, it’ll just get some more idiots killed trying to take her. Okay, put out a warrant for her arrest for
murder or something. Xena turned
herself in when accused; maybe Gabrielle’s remaining sense of honor will demand
that as well. Just get your hands on
her!”
“What
are you going to do?” Eve asked.
“I’m
going to Nippon and get some answers!”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Gabrielle
growled and threw her elbow back, landing solidly on someone’s nose. The bandit howled in pain and released his
hold on the warrior’s arms. She stomped
back with her boot and connected with the bandit’s shin and slid down to the
top of his foot. His howls continued
and she quickly forgot him as he danced off behind her, no longer a threat for
the moment.
The
bard ducked and the bandit behind her stopped howling after a sword stroke from
one of his own mates struck him in the neck.
Gabrielle came up out of her crouch with her katana between the bandit’s
legs in front of her. The sword sliced
long and deep, almost up to his belt.
The
bandit’s look of surprise brought a laugh from the bard as she spun around him
and kicked him out of the way. She
flipped over onto her hands; katana held easily and kicked upwards, her boots
connecting with the jaw of another bandit, knocking him into two more behind
him.
Gabrielle
flipped back onto her feet and slashed out with the sharp sword and cut all
three of them down with almost no thought.
The
warrior looked around at a groaning, remaining bandit and at the seven others
that lay dead around her.
Again
the rush of energy quickly faded and the warrior simply reached down and cut a
slice of cloth from one of the dead bandit’s tunic and began cleaning her sword
as she walked towards her horse.
Gabrielle
spun around with the katana at the ready at the sound of clapping behind
her. The bard growled and continued
cleaning her prized sword as she took in the sight of Ares standing where she
had been, clapping.
“What
do you want, Ares?” she asked.
“The
question is what do you want?” he countered.
“You
already know that,” she said in a tired voice, turning towards her horse. She wasn’t surprised when he rushed to walk
beside her. “I don’t want anything
anymore.”
“Access
to the library of Alexandria?” he questioned.
“Destroyed
by Caesar,” she countered.
“I
could take you there,” he offered and frowned when the one-time bard showed no
interest in the most extensive library that had ever existed. “I could take you anywhere you want, even to
Nippon to see Xena if you wish.”
Gabrielle’s
eyes narrowed, this was the first time that he had offered that and he had
offered a lot over the last two months since she left Eve.
“Why?”
“Why
what?” he asked. “You miss her and
she’s got to be missing you.”
“Why
would you offer that?” she asked, stopping in the road, dusting herself off.
“Why do you want on my good side?”
“It’s
simple, I want you,” he said easily.
“We’ve
been fighting for decades!” she couldn’t keep the surprise out of her
voice. “You always claimed to be in
love with Xena.”
“True
and I still love her and I’m still grieving, maybe that’s why I’m drawn to you
now,” he admitted. “Look, the only
thing we disagreed on was Xena’s future and her true destiny. I actually liked you.”
“Thanks,”
the bard said sarcastically. “I think
I’ll pass.”
“And
do what? Wait until you get yourself killed?” he demanded as she mounted her
horse. “What will you do next, take on
an army by yourself?”
“Why
not?” she shrugged. “I’m still killing
and using my warrior skills, why should you care?”
“Gabrielle,
give me a couple of days,” he pressed.
“If you don’t find your feelings haven’t change, you go about your
business of trying to get killed.”
“No,”
the warrior said simply and turned her horse back towards the road.
“You’re
willing to sleep with anything under the sun but me?” he laughed as she began
blushing and spurred her horse into a trot.
Ares
was right, the bard cursed herself and tried not to break into tears
again. It felt like she was either
feeling nothing or overwhelming grief.
Getting drunk almost every night and waking up in a stranger’s arms
wasn’t helping, fighting anyone who looked at her cross ways wasn’t helping and
she doubted going with Ares would help either.
“Xena,
help me!” she whispered.
Gabrielle looked down at the various new scars and half healed wounds and then at her weapons. Long gone was the naďve village girl she had once been and now she wasn’t sure what had taken her place.
Gabrielle
wasn’t the evil warlord Xena had been but what was she?
A sword looking for a place to fall, she answered herself.
Once
again she wondered why it was that she couldn’t seem to let it go, to let Xena
go. She could go back to the Amazons
and help Varia rebuild the Nation. She
could find Eve and travel with her for a bit, or she could go home and see how
Lila and Sarah were getting along. She
could begin writing again, be a warrior bard in action as well as name.
Once
again she rejected all those options.
It just seemed she didn’t have the energy for any of it.
“Xena,
the lines of the mendi are broken, how can I let you go knowing I won’t see you
again?” she whispered, unaware of Ares watching her. The bard shrugged to herself, thinking how it would be easier to
just find a drink and stop thinking about anything.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Aphrodite
looked around the Japanese teahouse with open curiosity. This was the first time she had visited the
island culture of Nippon. She had asked
all the remaining Olympian gods what they knew of the culture and they hadn’t
been much help.
The
Goddess of Love reflected that they were a lot like her, self-centered. If it didn’t concern them then they didn’t
pay much attention to it. Aphrodite
thought maybe it was well past time that the Greeks expanded their knowledge
and cultural experiences.
She
found the teahouse wonderful in design and function but found the lack of what
Aphrodite considered appropriate furniture disturbing. Dite was accustomed to large pillows,
overstuffed sofas and beds, and curtains and silk everywhere.
“Anybody
home?” she called, a little impatient.
“Like, yo Xena!”
Aphrodite
thought Gabrielle had looked bad but Xena looked worse. Dite had stayed in the background and out of
sight when Eve had finally caught up with Gabrielle and had been even more
distressed than she had when she went seeking the peacekeepers’ help with the
bard. The Goddess had gotten involved
when she found the bard in extreme emotional pain and went looking for
Eve.
Xena
looked worse.
The
warrior was dressed in Japanese style, which for some unknown reason irritated
Aphrodite, in a purple and red kimono and was without weapons.
Xena
looked very much as she had in real life except now it looked like she had been
on a hunger strike and hadn’t slept in forever. The Greek Goddess of Love wondered how a spirit could look so
miserable; it wasn’t like this was Tartarus.
It looked boring as anything to Dite but not unpleasant.
“Aphrodite?”
Xena’s voice was filled with the surprise she was obviously feeling.
The
Greek Goddess smiled her most charming smile and opened her arms. She knew Xena wasn’t much for affection but
years with the gentle bard had tamed the warrior somewhat and Dite was pleased
when Xena easily accepted the hug.
“Gabrielle!”
Xena demanded after a moment, “How is she?”
“Easy,
gorgeous!” Dite said easily. “We’ve got
a lot to talk about, Blue Eyes.”
Aphrodite
resisted the urge to show any surprise or emotion when another figure entered
the room carrying a tray of tea.
“Aphrodite,
this is Akemi,” Xena began. “Akemi,
this is Aphrodite, Greek Goddess of Love.”
“I
am most pleased to meet a friend of Xena’s, please sit and have some tea while
things are discussed,” Akemi said simply and formally.
“Pleased
to meet you,” Dite said simply, unsure if she really meant it but decided to be
polite until she figured out what was going on. She also resisted groaning at the thought of the small little
pillow they wanted her to sit on at the small table on the floor. This
culture needed to be introduced to chairs, she decided.
“Gabrielle!”
Xena’s blue eyes flashed brightly and Dite caught the frown on Akemi’s
face. “Tell me, Aphrodite, please!”
“You
can’t see her in your undead state? Those who have passed on can hear the
thoughts and see their loved ones,” Dite asked easily as the Japanese girl
poured the green tea for all of them.
“Not
here,” Xena complained, the bitterness apparent in her voice and Akemi glanced
at the warrior with a glare. Xena
ignored the look even though Dite knew the warrior had caught it. “I’m held here and I can’t see or hear her.”
“Maybe
that’s part of her problem,” Dite said thoughtfully. “She no longer feels that connection and knows that you can’t
hear her.”
“Aphrodite!”
Xena snapped, resisting the urge to take the Goddess of Love by the neck.
“Sorry,
gorgeous,” Dite said easily. “Listen,
Xena, there’s no easy way to say this.
Gabrielle is slowly killing herself with grief.”
Xena
moaned as if she were physically struck and closed her eyes momentarily. She unconsciously pulled her hand back when
Akemi attempted to comfort the warrior.
After a moment she glared at Aphrodite.
“Tell
me!” she demanded.
“How?”
Dite suddenly complained. “It’s so
unbelievable! Gabrielle has lost the
will to live. She’s seeking out a way
to die, either in battle or drinking herself to death.”
“Gabrielle
drinking?” Xena questioned, the disbelief in her voice and on her face. “No, she wouldn’t.”
Aphrodite
felt tears trying to fill her eyes.
This was harder than she thought it would be. How could she show Xena how much Gabrielle had fallen apart?
The
Goddess looked around the place and settled on the sticks of incense burning in
a bowl of salt and reached over to pull it onto the table in front of the three
of them. Aphrodite closed her eyes and
waved her hands through the smoke and after a moment she heard Xena gasp.
Aphrodite
opened her eyes to take in the sight of Gabrielle’s current state of being.
Xena
moaned and shook off Akemi’s hand from her shoulder as she saw Gabrielle taking
on several bandits at once. Xena was
pleased with the warrior bard’s skills in the fight but Gabrielle’s face
troubled her. It was if the bard was
fighting automatically, without feeling and without passion.
The
bard quickly finished off the bandits and left them where they lay without a
backwards glance.
Then
the scene switched and showed Gabrielle at some unnamed tavern; she had
obviously been there for a while judging by the bard’s bleary eyes and hanging
head. Xena blinked in disbelief as
Gabrielle smacked two drunks across the nose and one across the head with the
blunt end of a sai when they began to bother her. Her mate was calling for another jug of wine.
The
warrior almost fell off her pillow when a tavern wench sat down next to
Gabrielle and began sharing the bard’s alcohol and soon the bard’s
attention. Xena couldn’t believe it
when Gabrielle accepted the woman sitting so close to her with an arm around
the bard. Soon they were kissing and
the woman was nuzzling Gabrielle’s throat and the bard wasn’t protesting.
“What
in Tartarus?” Xena whispered and Dite resisted smacking the daylights out of
the pleased look on Akemi’s face.
“She’s
been trying to kill the pain with drink and that leads to accepting whoever
ends up in her bed,” Dite explained.
Xena
growled as the scene shifted to the tavern wench helping a very unsteady bard
to her feet and started steering the very drunk Gabrielle towards the back
rooms.
The
warrior glared at the Goddess of Love and Aphrodite shifted uncomfortably.
“How?”
Xena demanded.
“Gabrielle
realizes that she won’t be with you when she crosses and she can’t take it,”
Dite explained. “She’s lost, Xena,
totally lost and won’t accept any help.”
“She’s
stronger than this!” Xena insisted, suddenly growling at the scene of the
tavern wench beginning to undress her barely conscious mate. The warrior once again marveling over
Gabrielle’s tattoo and cursing the circumstances in which she was seeing that
dragon again. Dite quickly waved her
hands through the smoke and the picture of Gabrielle faded.
“No
she’s not,” Dite countered. “No one
would be. She and you were strong
because of your connection to each other.
Think about it, Xena, everything you did was with her or because of
her. She could have mourned you if you
had just died or she could have become the world’s greatest champion if you had
stayed by her side, even as a ghost.”
“I
didn’t choose to leave her!” Xena growled.
“You’re
stuck here and she knows it. She was
able to let go of you before because she knew you two would be together when
she crossed over. That trip to India
just confirmed it; that mendi thing that she loves so much. You two have been
through so much, more than any other humans, the only thing that got you both
through it was each other and your connection.”
Xena
frowned thoughtfully.
“We
were shown that we would be together in future lives, throughout eternity. That our souls are intertwined, individual
but together always - like lines of a tattoo or mendi,” Xena explained to Akemi.
“Now
that’s not going to happen,” Dite cut in.
Xena
frowned. “What do you mean? I’m not
going to be here forever - just until the souls choose to reincarnate, then I’m
released.”
“No,”
Dite said softly, catching the flash in Akemi’s eyes. “Gabrielle will go to the Amazons or the Elysian Fields, you
remain here.”
“It
can’t work that way,” Xena protested.
“I can’t be separated from her forever!”
“Until
things are set right you are stuck here and won’t be with Gabrielle ever!” Dite
snapped. “Tell me you don’t feel it,
tell me you don’t feel the connection is gone between you.”
Xena
lowered her head and fought back tears.
“No, I can’t deny that. I
haven’t been able to feel her since I disappeared off the ship and it’s driving
me insane!”
“She
feels the loss too, that’s why she’s given up,” Dite said gently. “Gabrielle doesn’t feel she has any future
in this life or the next. Even Ares
can’t get to her.”
“Ares?”
Xena demanded.
“He’s
been trying to seduce her, not that anyone can figure out why,” Dite continued. “He hasn’t offered her world domination or
power or anything, he’s totally confusing the picture.”
“She’s
with Ares?” Xena demanded.
“No,
she’s resisted him only because she doesn’t care about anything,” Dite said
softly. “It’s totally a bummer!”
“Gabrielle!”
Xena cried out.
“Not
even Eve was able to help,” Dite finished.
“Eve
is involved?” Xena asked.
“Yes,
I asked her for help when I saw that Gabrielle wasn't bouncing back from her
grief but Gabrielle resisted any help.
Now Eve is hunting all over Greece for blonde, tattooed and deadly
before she gets herself killed and you end up separated for eternity.”
“How
can we change that?” Xena demanded, “I’m here and she’s there!”
Dite
resisted glaring back at Akemi as the young spirit’s eyes glared angrily.
“Hang
loose, warrior type,” Dite said softly.
Xena
growled at the helpless look on Aphrodite’s face just before the goddess
disappeared in a flash of glitter.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Gabrielle
moaned and pulled the pillow off her head.
A glance around didn’t tell the bard much. Another room in some unnamed tavern, Hades, she wasn’t even sure
of what town or village she was in.
She
also didn’t remember getting to the room with the dark-haired woman lying next
to her. Gabrielle felt a familiar pang
of pain and turned away, swinging her feet off the bed and reaching for the
bottle of wine next to the bed.
Damn,
this place was so cheap there wasn’t even a small table next to the bed, she
thought, grabbing the bottle from the floor.
She
must have really been drunk, she reflected, glancing over her shoulder. Even in her recent decline in life,
Gabrielle normally stayed away from dark haired women. It didn’t matter how beautiful they were or
how willing, they reminded the bard too much of Xena and that hurt a bit much.
It
went against what she was trying to accomplish, to drown the pain and forget
it. Going to bed with someone who
looked like Xena was not in the game plan.
Of course, there wasn’t much of a game plan
in place,
she thought and then cursed the day.
Her mind was working too much this morning, she complained to
herself. Gabrielle couldn’t remember
much about the night before but her body felt like whoever that was next to her
had put the bard through quite a workout.
Damn, even the wine is cheap, I hope I didn’t
pay for this stuff, she complained to herself.
The
bard didn’t want to think, she didn’t want to feel and she didn’t want to be
there when the woman woke up. Gabrielle
got dressed quickly and left the women sleeping, not even a note of thanks for
a night to not remember.
The
bard blinked in surprise when she found Eve waiting for her at the stable. Gabrielle actually managed to slightly smile
at her adopted daughter and at Eve’s persistence.
“How
did you find me this time?” she asked, moving past the woman into the stable
and towards her horse.
“I
got some inside information on how the gods track humans. I figured that Ares has been trying to keep
me from you. Instead of looking for
you, I went looking for trouble and where it was going to spring up next,” Eve
answered as she followed the bard into the building. "The 10 bar patrons
you left bruised and bloody last night led me to you."
“Congrats,”
Gabrielle said sarcastically, “now what are you going to do with me?”
“I
honestly don’t know,” Eve admitted, watching the bard saddle and bridle her
horse. “Mother owed you so much during
life and you helped save me from myself and Ares. I can’t repay either of those debts but I’d like to try.”
“Okay,
you ended up loving your Mom and me, you forgave me for trying to kill you,
we’re even,” Gabrielle said simply.
“Goodbye.”