As Promised
Frau Hunter Ash
(Aka Dana Cooper-Kjarr)
Disclaimers:
I don’t own Xena,
Gabrielle, Ares or any of the others, this is meant for entertainment
purposes. Renaissance Pictures owns
them, I don’t but don’t bother suing me, this is my life, in other words: I
have no money.
Subtext: I
don’t think its subtext any longer, even Lucy thinks Xena was “outed” and Rob
recently commented on the profound love between Xena and Gabrielle. This story assumes a loving and physical
relationship between Gabrielle and Xena.
No sex but plenty of love.
Violence:
major character death, angst
Storyline: Ten years in the future after When Fates
Collide (FIN never happened, thank you!).
* * *
I can't see her but I know she's waiting. I know she's waiting because she promised she would, no matter how long it took. I have to believe that, especially now.
I
look around the familiar place. How
many nights have I spent on a battlefield?
Fighting, always fighting? I
can't even begin to wonder how many bodies I've left behind as corpses, in all
these years.
You
see, it's been 10 years since I've seen her.
There have been others who have traveled with me but none have taken her
place. No one sleeps beside me,
splashes water at me and no one can get that playful side of me to the
surface. Most of them move on after a
couple of months with me.
You
probably think me cold and heartless after all these years. You might be right. I died that night that my love made her
promise and I didn't come back to life this time. I don't get close to the new warriors I train, I learned that
mistake after the first two died quickly and brutally. The rest that followed were mere faces,
sometimes I didn't even learn their names.
I
sense him. Of course he'd show up tonight. It's only fitting.
I try and raise my head but I'm too tired. I feel his fingers lifting my chin, assessing the damage and what little spark remains. I'm surprised to see tears in his eyes.
"What? Isn't this what you wanted?" I demand, still a smart ass after all these years.
"You know that's not so," Ares answers softly. He starts to reach for me but I shake my head.
"Don't," I simply say and he nods his head, knowing what grave marker I'm leaning against. It was only fitting that the battle had taken place so close to this spot.
"It was always her, even when you were moping around after Ulysses, Rafe, Marcus, and me, wasn't it?" he says easily.
"Yes, everyone knew but me," I smile a bitter smile. So many years and chances lost because I was too blinded by gender do's and don'ts.
"What went wrong, warrior?"
"When? Tonight or ten years ago?" I ask for clarification. I'm getting really tired and cold.
"I know what happened 10 years ago," Ares snaps. "Damned warlord Rack tried to overthrow Tartarus and your annoying bard took him on, getting herself killed in the process of sending his ass to Hell."
"That's when I died," I tell him and he nods again, understanding all too well. He's watched me for the last ten years and knows that I was more dead and different than when we came back the last time. "Everything fell apart after that," I say, wondering if I'm just remembering aloud or actually telling Ares the story. "The evil just got worse and the fighting harder and harder. Tonight it just finally caught up with me."
"Yeah, I remember," Ares says softly, wrapping his leather cloak around me. "Does it hurt?"
"Now? No, just cold," I answer and continue my reminiscing. "It was so hard, Meg and Joxer dying in a fire with Virgil being unable to get to them in time. After losing Gabrielle, Lila and Sarah to the bandits, I knew Virgil wouldn't last long."
"He went out fighting, have to give the kid that," Ares commented.
"Yeah," I say, remembering the sight of Virgil falling to a pack of Bacchae, taking most of them with him and forcing them to kill rather than turn him.
I open my eyes and realize I must have drifted off but Ares is still with me, I'm in his arms.
"Ten years and how many warriors since?" I ask softly.
"Seven at my last count," Ares mutters.
"Did I ever tell you that Hercules wrote me about Eve?" I ask. I can't feel my legs.
"No, you didn't," he answers. "Then again, you haven't talked to me in five years."
"She died in a rock slide in India," I tell the God. "Stupid waste, a rockslide. Not a demon, a god, or a zealot, but a stupid rockslide."
"Maybe Eli got bored waiting for you and decided on some better company wherever the hell they end up," Ares offered.
"That's better," I agree. A more fitting end to a former Bitch of Rome turned peacekeeper daughter.
"Why didn't you move on after Gabrielle?" he asks, again.
"Why didn't you move on after me?" I counter. "You stayed close even though we weren't even talking, fighting or…or anything."
God, now I'm remembering sex with him, it must be bad.
He won't answer that because he can't. Ares might have to admit to having feelings and he quit doing that a long time ago. The night Gabrielle died and I nearly killed him out of grief when he touched me.
"I'm tired," I mutter, closing my eyes.
"I know, Xena," Ares says softly. I think he's stroking my hair. "You lived longer than anyone ever expected, including the Fates. You've become a legend."
"I don't know why I kept going except that is what she would have wanted," I say softly.
"She was the best out of all you warriors," Ares agrees.
"Even me?" I try to tease.
"Especially you, you self centered, arrogant bitch."
I know he's grinning.
"I'd talk leather boy," I retort. I feel my body shiver and spasm and Ares' arms tightening around me.
Then I feel it, a warm wind, like Spring time and a hint of a familiar scent. It no longer hurts and I look up into green eyes.
"Ares," I say, my voice barely a whisper.
"I see her, Princess," he whispers back. "Let go, she's waiting."
"Just like she promised," I nod. "Goodbye, Ares."
"I love you, Xena," Ares' voice seems far away as Gabrielle reaches her hand down to me and I take it, standing up into her arms.
"Goddess, I love you," she says and I close my eyes, remembering that voice, remembering that night when I finally realized how much I loved her and how much she had always loved me. She took a spear from Rack to save me, knowing it would kill her. I found the love of my life as she was dying.
"I've missed you," I smile, opening my eyes. She's beautiful.
"Took you long enough, warrior mine," she teases and we begin walking away through the battlefield towards the sunlight waiting at the edge of the woods.
I glance back and see Ares weeping over the non-moving form that was once me, until ten warriors ripped it apart earlier tonight.
"He'll join us soon," Gabrielle comments.
"After he buries me next to your ashes," I agree and turn back, meeting Gabrielle's lips for the first time. And I plan on doing it for the rest of eternity.
"I love you, Gabrielle."
"Forever, Xena," Gabrielle promises and then everything is right again.